Dear Brain….we need to talk.

Dear Brain,

Listen…I appreciate your enthusiastic encouragement and all that business, but please stop being so darn hopeful all the time. I am just worried that it will only lead to disappointment in the end. Yes it is true that the past three mornings….calm down please brain…you have had an elevated temperature. And I know that seeing as it has been…..(recounting)…193 days since the start of our last period, that you are a little excited at the thought of a period finally. Although in all honesty, what are you thinking? I mean that just means we have to go to the store and shell out our fun money for pads and tampons…you do realize that means less fun money right? Okay well obviously the period would help with the whole getting pregnant thing…so I guess I can understand your excitement about that. And I know you have just been itching to finally unbox your fertility monitor that you decided to shell out mucho mucho mullah for about….six months ago…only to realize that you shouldn’t start using it until your period arrived. And I know you didn’t expect it to be so long before that happened, but seriously, stop jumping up and down for goodness sakes and stop eyeing the fertility monitor box toying with the idea of opening it and rereading the directions for the zillionth time, we’ve got a long way to go. Like at least 11 more mornings or so. Therefore I would like to propose a compromise.  I will allow you just one teeny tiny happy dance each morning when the thermometer shows that the temp is still elevated, but that is it! OKAY? You can’t spend the rest of the day picking out names and day dreaming about what your future nuggets eye color will be. That is just too much. Seriously. I need to be able to concentrate on work and reviewing for my exam. And Please! stop wondering if instead of a period in 11 days you will get a few more days of elevated temperature….because you and I know you are hoping that instead of a period we get a positive preggo test…me for the triumph over not buying feminine products for over six months and you so you can finally allow yourself to go Baby crazy!….okay okay..who am I kidding? We are both excited to go Baby Crazy. But listen. There is no guarantee that in 10-14 days we will get a period let alone a positive preggo test. Therefore please stick to the compromise and stop torturing me with your excitement! We need to be more realistic here. Otherwise we’re not going to make it through the next two weeks together. You are just being completely insufferable.  

Sincerely,

The Pessimistic  Realistic Side

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3 thoughts on “Dear Brain….we need to talk.

  1. Well, I for one will be cheering on the optimistic side for you, so feel free to live in the realistic. Side note: In January of 2009 we had packed up our lives (including all pads/tampons) and moved into our friends' house for "a couple weeks" which turned into over a month due to closing issues with our new home. During said month I realized I was on day 36-ish of my cycle and we went to the store. I bought tampons and pads (because I was sure I would get my period) and a cheap preggo test (just in case) and went on my happy way. Well, turns out I only needed the preggo test, hello Charlotte! I later returned the tampons and pads (after I unpacked my supplies and had plenty…I wondered if the lady would see the receipt "pads…tampons…preggo test", realize what I was returning, and laugh, but no, not that great a moment) So, moral of the story, it ALWAYS happens when you don't expect it. So, buy yourself new pads and tampons!

  2. 193 days!? Dang girl, I thought I had a long cycle! I haven't read through your blog yet, but are you on any meds to start your period? I just finished my second round of Provera and realized today (yay!) that it worked. I'm anxious to start Clomid in a few days.

  3. Oh my gosh, I am SO praying for you Natalie that you'll only need a test, and if not that, then HELL YEAH, bring on the tampons. Isn't it weird to be excited about a possible impending period?! LOL. How our lives have changed.

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