The Tortoise and the….slightly faster Tortoise

There is this fellow….kind of a nerdy looking dude, that rides the train with me (I should say we’re usually on the same train, some mornings I am not as motivated to get to work so I catch the train right after our “shared” train) and his office building seems to be just next door to mine. He is quite a brisk walker and although I usually beat him off the train and for the first 1/8th of a mile, he usually passes me right before we both cross the street towards our perspective office buildings. As you can imagine, most of the time, I don’t give a crap. I am so exhausted and, as of late, mentally beat down, that I could care less that he passes me everyday. But….every once in a while, this competitive streak emerges and I feel the need to race him….granted while still walking, thus the title because let’s face it there are no Hares in this scenario. Plus if I started runnning, he would totally realize I was racing him. Anyhoo, so I thought I was the only one partaking in this on again off again “competition”, which admittedly is a really silly competition if I do say so myself. I figure this fellow is just an unsuspecting victim on the days I decide to “race” him off the train….well this morning, I realize that we are both partaking in this little game. This morning the competitive streak came out, mostly because I was listening to “Tic Toc” by Kesha (more on this in a minute) on my iTard (Andy’s expression) and it inspired me to haul my little booty off the train and towards the office building. I could see said nerdy fellow in my peripherals as per usual and then I crossed the grassy median towards the sidewalk, reaching the point where he normally overtakes me, but wait….where did he go?  Hmm, must not have been him. So I continue walking…”making it pop” and “getting crunk” and what not (per the song). But then….what’s this?…to my right I see said “nerdy fellow” passing me, but he is totally cheating. He has gotten off of our predesignated and agreed upon race course (okay so we never really predesignated or agreed upon it, but doing the same thing every day might as well be a formal contract in my mind) and he is cutting across the parking lot of another office building in order to beat me. What a cheater! This is when I realize, I am not the only one in this undeclared and undocumented race. He is doing the same freakin’ thing that I am every day. Which means the days when my “head is not in the game”, he is taking great pleasure in scooting right past me. Only today when I start putting forth the effort, does he decide to cheat in order to get past me. Ha! I have you all figured out nerdy guy and can I just say from now on “it’s on like Donkey Kong!”.

Okay so before you go getting all judgy on me about the song, first you must know that my buddy Morgan gave me a CD full of the latest “happening” songs (ugh I feel so old!). She is only three years younger then me, but compared to her I am definitely behind on the times. And I used to be so cool. I will admit to you that I do enjoy listening to the bizarre combination of songs she gave me. There are country songs, because she is a farm girl from Limon, and then there is Akon, Kesha, and Shakira, and then there are a series of bands I have never heard of which I would kind of classify as teeny heart throb soft rock of some sort. You know the type of song? They are kind of catchy and fun, but after a while they sort of all sound the same. Yeah so interesting mix. Anyhoo, there is nothing like listening to the lyrics “e’rybody’s getting crunk…boys tryin’ to touch my junk” to make you feel like a really old lady. Like I might as well be in a mumu and those foam curlers… oh and might as well throw in those plastic wedge “sandals” that little old ladies wear with hose….what is with that by the way? I always see old ladies in house coats and curlers, but they have hose on. I mean have you worn hose lately? I have and if I make the effort to wrestle my chunky booty into some hose it is because I am dressing up. I have never been like ‘today is a lounge day, I think I will just throw on a pair of hose and then chill out’. Hose are not the comfiest accessory by any means. Unless they are different for you, but I for one, can’t wait to get them back off at the end of the day. Wow sorry for the digression. 

The reason I am illuminating my nerdy playlist is because the more I listen to “Morgan 2” (which is what I have dubbed said playlist) the more I laugh at myself. And if I have left you (i.e. my blog readers) with any knowledge about me, I above all think it is important to laugh at yourself. Let me give you another instance of when “Morgan 2” made me laugh. It was last Tuesday. I was still completely worn out from a combination of the whirlwind work trip on Monday and my study activity, and piled on that I was just leaving a full day of work. As I was walking across the parking lot towards the train, the song “Party Like a Rock Star” came on. So I am shuffling my sad, tired, sorry tushy along and I realize what the song is saying. This is when I realized my life is so far from “partying like a rock star” it isn’t even funny. Well actually it is kind of funny. So I started laughing at myself about it. It is just so ridiculous that these songs are even on my ipod. I am definitely never going to be “partying like a rock start” or “getting crunk”. So why are they still on there? Well because they make me laugh.

Because I like interactive blogs I am going to pose a question to you. Is there a song you like listening to which is an extreme dichotomy to how you really are? Don’t be shy.

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5 thoughts on “The Tortoise and the….slightly faster Tortoise

  1. Hm…I'll have to think about this. I "sing along" with most songs on the radio, but I'm awful about knowing the REAL lyrics… and I generally figure that out in the middle of karoke. :)I agree with Gucci Mama – grab those roller skates and GO! Or how about those shoes that have wheels that come out of the bottom? 🙂

  2. "Yeek-Yeek Woop-Woop) Why you all in my ear? Talkin' a whole bunch a shit that I ain't tryin to hear.Get Back! Motherfucker You don't know me like that.Get back! Motherfucker You don't know me like that!(Yeek-Yeek Woop-Woop) I ain't playin' around.. Make one false move, I'll take you down.Get back! Motherfucker You don't know me like that.Get back! Motherfucker You don't know me like that!"-Ludacris 2004Not only is this the song that doesn't fit me….it should be your theme song for Nerdboy.

  3. You would roll over laughing if you heard my playlist. Non of it "fits" me. Ranges from Akon to Furgie, Eminem, 3-oh-3, and I think there is even Brittney Spears and Miley on there. It is pretty spectacular. I think you just need to take off running tomorrow, right out of the gate, get off that train and RUN!!!!!

  4. Hahaha. Love the responses! Do heelies come in a business stiletto? If not we should propose it and make millions! Muah hahahaaaaa! Okay maybe "millions" would be wishful thinking there.

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