It’s Here!

Okay it just came to my attention that I may have a gentleman reader….don’t ask me why that hasn’t occurred to me yet? Perhaps there are several out there…in which case, hello gentlemen….um, you might want to skip over this post. I mean you can read it if you like, but I am going to pretend that you didn’t. Don’t worry I will pick back up soon with something appropriate for all sexes.
As for you ladies, Aunt Flo showed up Saturday morning. Kind of out of the blue according to my temp chart. What the crap temp chart, you are confusing me. I wasn’t expecting her for a few more days, but I was definitely excited when she popped in for a visit. Hey does anyone know why/how “Aunt Flo” came about? It seems rather mean because I am sure someone somewhere has an Aunt Flo and that poor lady probably gets teased by her whole family. My kids will have an Auntie Em. I fully plan to exploit this when/if our spawn make an appearance. I am not sure if I will be successful considering it was her suggestion that I name our kid Dorothea…but I bet if I shower her with Wizard of Oz paraphernalia every birthday and Christmas for the rest of her life, she will start feeling the torture. Muaaahahahaaaaa.
Anyway, so despite a tinge of sadness at the idea of not being preggo. I was pumped and ready to implement my plan B. Wait…not like the pill Plan B….for confusion sake, let’s call it Plan dos. I like to throw some culture in there when I can. Saturday morning I jumped right  in to taking my herbs. The only down side of those, besides the fact that they taste like crap, is that I have to take 5 pills three times a day. I feel and look like a pill pusher. Andy looked at me and asked ‘what are you taking? muscle builders?’. Yes I am taking muscle builders because I just really always wanted to look like Sylvester Stallone. When I told him these were the herbs he laughed and said….you are taking the herbs that your acupuncturist gave you? All condescending and high and mighty. In his defense, we had just watched the episode of Penn & Teller’s Bullshit where they talk about New Age Medicine. Okay to be clear this was my fault. Season 6 was available on Netflix Watch Instantly. I should have gone through and pre-read the titles of the episodes. Because episode 2 was New Age Medicine and the description clearly listed: acupuncture, crystals, healing touch, etc. When the title came up, I knew that I should have skipped it, but he was right there watching with me, so I am pretty sure it would have been worse to skip it and be ridiculed for not wanting to accept the facts about acupuncture. The episode really targeted the stranger and off beat New Age Medicine and really didn’t say anything to disprove or degrade acupuncture except to say that people who think acupuncture is the cure for serious illness such as cancers and the like, haven’t been able to prove it. I think the brain is very powerful. I am not saying the acupuncture is definitely working for me because I can’t really say that. I don’t have the foggiest idea if it truly will, but if I was closed minded about it, then it definitely wouldn’t. However, it doesn’t keep the fact that Andy is still such a skeptic from bugging the crap out of me. It makes me want to get all defensive and batter the issue out with him until he sees my side. But I am not sure that he ever will. Most likely he will just get a kick out of getting a rise in me and continue to poke and prod. In fact I can pretty much guarantee that Andy doesn’t care one bit about my alternative means of ovary therapy…he most certainly is just trying to find a way to pester me. Therefore the patient “zen-like” Natalie just sits quietly and lets him tease me. As I said, more trouble would come from letting the situation escalate. Whoa I seriously did not mean this post to turn into a “yay for acupuncture” dialogue. I just wanted to tell you all I started my period. Sorry about all the extra blabber there. YAY for the period and on with Plan Dos.

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4 thoughts on “It’s Here!

  1. I love your little splash of culture. Good luck with the baby makin' – I hope you are able to grow one soon. They're fun. When they're here. The growing part? Um, not so much. The heartburn, the swelling, the weight gain…there's more but I don't want to get you too excited. But seriously – I hope it happens soon! Good luck. And, um, have fun?

  2. OK, I'm PUMPED for you and pland Dos, and I just have to say – I feel you on the herbs! I have 6 bottles by my bed right now, and you have to take SO MUCH of all of them! My lady says it's because you need high quantities of Chinese herbs to get the effects.All I know is that everyone I know gives me a hard time, and I don't even care. I totally believe in it and the power of our minds – for you and for me!

  3. Thanks Ladies! I love you all. YAY for fertility. hahaha. Jos- I am on Bloom. There are four bottles and they correspond to each week of your period…with the assumption that you have a four week period. It is going to be weird if I get to the 28 day cycle I am going to have to buy more than one box of tampons every six months. Weird. hahaha. I am sure tampex is excited about my increased business.

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