50-Some Hours till Go-Time!

In approximately 53 hours….like I said it’s approximate, it isn’t like I calculated it in my head or anything….I am going to be boarding a plane to Tacoma to visit Bret! I am so excited I could literally pee my pants. Well that could be an exaggeration. I suppose I could pee my pants if I really put effort into it. Anyway as you can tell I am an excited distracted train wreck when it comes to mental capacity today. I have never been one for time rushing by. In fact on most days it feels like time is just flying by me. But for some reason the last week has been excrutiatingly slow, as I am certain the next 53 hours will be. However, there is no need for you to suffer along with me. The past three days have resulted in a hilarious e-mail exchange between Bret and myself and since it cracked me up I thought you might enjoy it as well. Sorry for the length, but I find the conglomerate of back and forth to be the most entertaining part of it.

Me to Bret:

Okay very important questions must be answered in order for me to pack my little bags.

• Do you have a hair dryer I will be able to borrow
• What about hairspray?
• Will I need a raincoat?
• Will we mostly be wearing tennis shoes? I figure we’ll be walking around a lot, but if you were thinking we’d be going somewhere that requires heels I can pack those too.
• Why do we still call them tennis shoes? Neither me nor anyone I knows plays tennis.
• Why do we call it a tennis bracelet? I would never wear a diamond bracelet while playing tennis. I guess it is for rich ladies at the country club who just strut around in tennis outfits.
• Are we mostly just keeping it low key and hanging out/sightseeing?
• Should I bring my own chocolate or will they have some there?
• What have your last weeks worth of outfits looked like? This will gauge what I should pack. If you’ve been mostly wearing jeans and t-shirts, then this is what I should pack. If you’ve been wearing hot pants and tube tops, then I better pack jeans and t-shirts. You get the idea.
• I think I am out of questions.
• I like bullet points
• I am excited to see you!
• Okay I will talk to you later.
• Love you
• bye

Bret to Muah with my comments back to her interspersed (sorry for the confusion):
HAHAHA thank you for the much needed smile! Your trip could not come at better time–I’m feeling a bit forlorn right now and could use some quality Natalie fun and positivity to get me back on track! 🙂 To answer your questions:

• Yes, I have a hair dryer. It even has a de-ionizer! (As if it even does anything…) this is good. I like the good ole ionizing ones, call me old fashioned, but I am willing to try this strange new technology of yours.
• Got hairspray, too–a ridiculously large can as a matter of fact. This will help should I develop arthritis while I am there. Bigger can the better in that instance.
• You can use one of my raincoats if you need one, so don’t waste space in your luggage on that. Bring booze instead. 😉 while you do have ridiculously large amounts of jackets, my mountain hardware rain coat is super compactable. Is that a word? I can roll it up all itty bitty and stuff it in my bag. I may opt out of drinking this weekend just to be your DD…..and make sure you don’t end up in a hotel room with a dude from Wyoming. Just as a random example.
• Don’t bring tennis shoes, I have no intention of playing tennis while you’re here. But bring walking shoes, those might be helpful. Actually, they are going to be critical–we’ll be doing LOTS of walking. I would bring a pair of heels, too, just in case we decide to get glammed up at any point. Aren’t all shoes walking shoes? I mean it would be kind of funny to not be able to walk in a pair of shoes. I think I will bring running shoes, just in case we need to run from something, kidnappers, my cousin, Spanish bulls. You know the usual.
• The scheme used to name tennis bracelets is a puzzling system. I would abandon trying to figure it out–it’s a waste of brain power. Consider my brain power un-wasted
• We’ll be doing mostly low key, yes. But I would bring one cute going out shirt in case the gays want to take us for a night on the town as their arm candy. :p Sounds like I should plan on having some sort of bottom garment lined up as well. I will look kind of funny with no pants even if I am wearing a nice top and heels.
• You can never have too much chocolate and whilst there are several gourmet places here (OH and cupcake stores… :p~~) they are hella expensive so we might get only a truffle or 2 from them. Hmmm. You do have grocery stores right? I mean as a last resort we can find a candy bar?
• Jeans and t-shirts would be a suitable wardrobe for your stay. No hot pants here… I don’t think it’s supposed to be uber warm, but I would bring a tank top in case we decide to spend a little time sunning to get some color. You do remember that my second job is to burn in all matter of sunlight? Which brings up a new question, do you have sunscreen?
• Ok
• I think that
• Covers it…
• Let me know if you have any
• More questions.
• I am SOOOO excited to see you!
• Love you!

Bret back to Muah:
– Fine! Bring your own raincoat, see if I care!
– Right, it’s probably best for both of us to keep the boozing to a minimum this weekend. Which is perfectly fine with me because I don’t need even the smallest drop of booze to enjoy my time with you! 🙂 And in fact, when I drink, I seem to falsely determine that spending time with random men from podunk states is enjoyable, so what am I going to do? JUST SAY NO!
– Good point, shoes are useless if they aren’t walkable, but some of my cutest shoes/heels shall we say “toe the line” with regards to walkability. (No pun intended)
– Pants are over rated. Don’t bring any.
– Seriously?! You have to ask me if I have sunscreen?! Honey, I have more tubes of sunscreen than I’ve got tubes of mascara. And I have 5 tubes of mascara so……

– CANDY CANDY CANDY CANDY Good thing there’s a Walgreens across the street and a 24/7 Safeway up the street!

Me to Bret:

LIAR! I think your shoe pun was entirely intended!

Five TUBES of mascara! That is ridunkulous girlie! Well I am glad that means you have at least 6 bottles of sunscreen. 6 should cover me. I am only there for four days and I get in at 7 on Friday so I probably will only need ½ a bottle that day.
I am glad that there is a Walgreens right across the street. If you wake up and I am not there, go check the candy aisle I am probably passed out face down in something chocolate. Hehehe.
Mkay I think we have all the logistics worked out. I can’t think of anything we left out of the mix: sunscreen, bull evasion tactics, tennis bracelets, preventing Bret from humping cowboys. That should cover it. I am so excited I could pee. We are both going to need Depends to make it through the week!

Bret to Muah:

HY PER VENT A LA TING!!!! I am getting ridiculously excited now! I couldn’t stop talking about you coming last night, and Mike (as a joke) was like “Well if you like her so much, why don’t you just marry her?!” And I was like “It’s Pride weekend, I just might!” :p

Guess what ELSE is going on this weekend? Taste of Tacoma! In Point Defiance Park! So we can hike through the park and then stuff our faces with some sort of uncommon meat on a stick, YAY! 😉
Depends, must stock up on Depends… 😉

Me to Bret:

This next two and a half days can’t go fast enough! It is taking way too stinkin long man! Taste of Tacoma with promises of meat on sticks Smells Yeah! We’re going to be unstoppable this weekend. I was discussing gay marriage with Matilda a few months ago (because I thought it would be a good way for her and I to be dual citizens, so she could live here and then I could go live in Sweden) Anyway we’ve decided that though polygamy is illegal, that you should be allow to have one husband and one wife. One of each. It wouldn’t really be a conflict of interest. The only sticky situation is figuring out if then your wife becomes your husband’s second wife. That could lead to jealousy. Therefore Andy could get a husband, but he couldn’t lay claim to my wife. Similarly I can’t lay claim to his husband. It is a pretty complex plan. We are still in the R&D phase. Could take years to master-mind. Anyhoodles, I got quite distracted there.
How on earth am I going to fill my time to keep me distracted over the next 50-some hours?
Possible Ideas:
• Photoshop wedding pictures of us
• Make a packing list and then use some sort of deciphering code to mix the words up, then misplace the decoder ring and see if I can decipher what I originally wrote.
• Get miraculously “sick” and go home and watch girl movies and/or take a long nap…I think I could sleep for at least half of the next 50 some hours if I really dedicated myself.
• Instead of shaving my legs, I could pluck them.
• I could cross stitch the Constitution on a tea towel
• To draw that out I could cross stitch each amendment on a separate tea towel. Nothing says America like a tea towel. Wait, why does that sound incorrect?
• I could start outlining a research paper as to why some Native Americans still refer to themselves as Indians and how we should at minimum start calling people of India, “real Indians” and Native Americans “Indian wannabes”

These seem like a good start.


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