Then you realize you know way too much about this man’s balls

Have you run into those people who like to over-share information? I am sure you have because I seem to know a ton. The first time I was caught off guard was when our landlord in NY repeatedly told me, in detail, about his colonoscopy. After my meeting last week, the kindly gentleman, who is technically our client, took me over to his office for a soda and a brownie while we killed time before my flight back. We were standing outside eating said brownies and we were talking about his boss’s family, also our client, and he said something along the lines of ‘it’s great to be able to spoil your grandkids’. So then I said ‘oh, do you have grandkids?’.

This is where things made a turn for the worse. I thought I was just asking an innocent question to what seemed like something he was familiar with. “No” he says, “my wife and I weren’t able to have children”. He could have stopped here. He could have, but of course he didn’t. He proceded to tell me that they were married pretty young, she was 18, he was 19 and after 7 years of nothing happening, they realized something must be wrong. So they went to the doctor and “they tested me first, because it was easier. It came back that I had a low sperm count.” This was my first indication that things were quickly going wrong.

“So the doctor did this operation where they open the tubes up from your testicles” Whoa! What just happened. This is my client, I am pretty sure I am not supposed to know about his testicles. But I was trying not to act shocked, I didn’t want him to be embarrassed when he realized. So I gave him the understanding nod that says ‘sure, I hear about other men’s balls all the time in my line of work’. He finished telling me about the surgery and how afterward they tried for another three years, but still nothing. The doctor told him ‘well your count is low, but you should still be able to get pregnant’. So they went back in to check his wife out. The doctor said she wouldn’t be able to conceive. Thank god he didn’t go into detail on that, although that part wouldn’t have made me uncomfortable.

From there he transitioned into how they went through the steps to try and adopt, but it was such a long process that they gave up. So they just decided that was it for them. I figure by then they had been married for 12 years or so, and were probably tired of all the stress from it all. Then he explained how they don’t regret not being able to have kids. It has allowed them to have lots of other hobbies, like having a plane for one thing, and being able to fly over to a nearby city for dinner whenever they want. And going on a motorcycle road trip every year up. I was happy to hear that his life was still so full despite the sadness of them not being able to have children. But even a week later, I am still really bothered by the fact that I know way too much about his balls!


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