Have I said anything about how the “week” system annoys the crap out of me? Well it does and it always has. Like when I would walk up to a parent and ask ‘how old is your baby?’ and I would get the response ‘oh 64 1/7 weeks’. Okay that has never happened, but if it did, I would be annoyed. I like math, but like in a school nerd kind of way. As in, I like to work equations, physically with a pencil and paper and handy calculator. I don’t like having mental math sprung on me. It is like an assault on the senses. Like going to a Yankee Candle Store. I equally loathed the term “Trying to Conceive”, yet I quickly found myself at a loss for any other statement that described what we were doing. A few times I would say ‘we’re having lots of unprotected sex in an organized type manner’, but that was a lot to say/write. After a while the cute little acronym TTC just made life easier. So here I am in the midst of that annoying week system, but F-it I am fighting the man. Today is 2 months, not 8 weeks or 56 days, but 2 months. Hell months kind of annoy me too. Let’s call it 1/6th year. That sounds super nerdy and I love it.
Basically this whole nerdy illiteration is a means to distract myself (and you) during my lunch hour because in a couple of hours Andy is picking me up for my first ultrasound. Yes, the lovely vaginal ultrasound which I invited my mother-in-law to. Still don’t know what I was thinking, but I have a feeling it will cause lots of laughter, which let’s face it, makes it a fun process. Let’s not think about the fact that this is a fairly critical appointment. I’m not going to mention my fears and worries and all that business. Because I am denying all of them right now. I am going in there today to see nugget’s heartbeat and it will be there. So here’s the Baby Center update. Nugget is the size of a kidney bean. Does this seam like a backstep from last week? Last week nugget was a blueberry and that seems bigger than a kidney bean to me. It is probably because I was imagining a really huge blueberry. Anyhoo, this next week nugget starts growing webbed fingers and his tail almost completely disappears. Seems like he would be a more efficient swimmer if he kept the tail while his fingers were still webbed. As far as how I am feeling, it is about the same. Nausea and exhaustion are the norm for me. Oranges, Jolly Ranchers and string cheese are my staples. I have officially started counting down to my second trimester. I can’t wait to feel like eating again. I like food and I miss the things I used to eat. I have this hankering for a salmon avocado roll from Hapa Sushi. I don’t think I could handle it right now, but I am hoping in a few weeks I will be ready.
To continue with my distraction, let me tell you I have had some insane dreams lately. My favorite to date relates to my ultrasound appointment. So this seems like the time to share. In my dream it was the Zombie Apocolypse, you know that thing everyone is always preparing themselves for? What do you mean you’re not preparing for it? Well Andy and his friends are and apparently their conversations have poisoned my dreams. So yeah, Zombies everywhere and we were fighting our way to my appointment. We had to kill hundreds of Zombies and sneak through large dark and dank buildings to get there. We descend this creepy staircase, open a door and all of a sudden we’re in a pristine doctor’s office waiting room. This is when I realize we were on our way to the appointment. Then the ultrasound chick walks up and says ‘um I am just going to step out for a few minutes to run an errand, I will be right back’. I was like ‘f no, you’re not going anywhere, you will be eaten by zombies if you step out that door and you can’t be eaten by zombies until after I get my ultrasound’. Then I woke up. This dream definitely signifies that my brain is taking Andy too seriously and that I will most likely stop at nothing to get my ultrasound today. I am like the chick from Shaun of the Dead.