Boy or Girl

Alright, this one is still baby related….and I should preface this post by saying it could get a little crazy in here. Like I could throw the “P” word around randomly and by “could” I mean I am probably going to. By “P” word I mean Penis. Now that we’re all acclimated to the word, let’s get going.
This entire post might be moot because Andy is 150% convinced Nugget is a girl. My grandma thinks it is going to be a girl too, apparently my grandpa (who died last November) said I would have a girl. I didn’t want to call g-ma on her craziness by clarifying whether g-pa told her before he died or like, say, after I told her I was pregnant in July. Hey, maybe g-ma is a ghost whisperer. Who am I to judge? My buds Emmicakes also thinks it is a girl. Plus there seems to be about a bazillion people hoping it is a girl. What’s with that people? Does no one like boys anymore? Well my grandpa Gumbo (mom’s dad, crazy g-ma = dad’s mom) thinks it is a boy. He sent me a birthday card that said “Niece, Hope You Have a Happy Birthday”. How freakin’ cute is that? Poor blind Grandpa. Hopefully he didn’t drive himself to the store to get it. Eeeek. Better look into that. Anyway on my “Niece” birthday card he wrote “How is my Great Grandson doing?”. Awwww.
Me on the other hand, I have officially declared myself Switzerland. I choose not to declare what I think it might be, because in all honesty, I have no freakin’ idea. It’s a mixed bag. You know how some people “try” specifically for a boy or a girl. They have the official positions and they time their cycle just right….yeah that wasn’t me. I was just trying to get knocked up. What a whore right? hahaha.
Yeah I tried looking back at my chart to get an idea of what might have happened. But there is just no tellin’. Maybe if we had just “wrestled” once during that special time I would have a slight inkling. But we fire-bombed that egg. We attacked her from all sides. It was like the Battle of Chosin Reservoir during the Korean War, my egg was Chesty Puller, she was surrounded. By the way of you’re not nerd cool enough to know who Chesty Puller is, you might be able to guess he was a highly decorated Marine. And yes, Andy has already asked and I refuse to name a boy Chesty. Similarly I refuse to name a boy Smedley, after Smedley Darlington Butler a Marine who received two Medals of Honor. I get that it is pretty darn awesome that he merited the Medal of Honor on two different occasions, but in my mind, there is a reason the name Smedley died out at the turn of the 20th Century. I believe it would be beyond cruel to name your kid either of those names.
Long story short, this baby’s sex is truly up in the air. My step-sister-in-law found out a few weeks ago that they are having a girl. She said they were all surprised because they were 100% sure it was a boy. Even when the ultrasound came up they thought they were looking at boy parts. Good thing the Ultrasound tech is trained to know what’s what. I am not sure if they were disappointed. I mean I think some people might have their heart set….ahem dads…on one sex or the other, but I can honestly say I don’t really care. In the long run it would be sweet to have one of each, but the order of that doesn’t particularly matter to me. And if I end up with two of one or the other, I wouldn’t be upset or disappointed about that either. Like I said, Switzerland.
Okay here is where things get weird. And by that I mean, this is where I get weird. Following a conversation with Andy where he declared it was definitely going to be a girl, I started thinking ‘what if it is a boy?’. I started thinking about a boy. What he might look like, I could see him stomping around the house in cowboy boots and whitey tighties, and then I started thinking about the fact that he would have a penis. Then it hit me, there could be a penis growing inside me. Does that seem odd to anyone else? I mean it is a tiny penis, but still. I am a girl and I can grow boy parts. That seems so strange. A vagina makes sense. Of course a woman could grow one of those. I realize it is up to the father to decide which parts the baby gets, but I am kind of in charge of growing it.
Up until this point I have just been a one penis kind of girl. It wasn’t necessarily intentional, but that is how things ended up happening. I met Andy and that was that. But now I wonder, if it is a boy, does this change the rules, or does it make me part-owner of a penis? That is kind of strange to think about, right? Okay, I think this post has officially spiraled out of control. So I am going to wrap it up.
Basically strange shit is going through my head as I start to contemplate the sex of Nugget. But all I really care about is that he/she is healthy and likes to snuggle. When I thought about pregnancy before this point, I saw 9 months as being an eternity. Now that I am sitting here, four weeks away from finding out what Nugget will be, I realize time is already moving too fast. I am so anxious to get to meet the Nugg, but I also don’t want them to grow up too fast. What a dichotomy.


4 thoughts on “Boy or Girl

  1. LOL, my best friend had these same thoughts. Too funny. :)I didn't realize you were going to find out the sex – how exciting!! (even if it might mean you'll go another 20 weeks knowing you have a penis inside you *grin*)

  2. You CRACK ME UP!!! I'm in alliance with Switzerland on this one, excited for you to find out though, and to get to see you, and share the amazing excitement I have for this whole "having a baby thing" 🙂

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