Whose Nipples Are These?

Peeps, there are some seriously hilarious aspects of being pregnant. I realize I still have a ways to go before the majority of them are revealed to me, but this latest development had me giggling. I try to be pretty candid with you all, sorry if there are any dudes still brave enough to read along, mostly because I do think everyone should embrace the funny aspects of life. It makes me sad to read stuff written by pregnant women that talk about the woes of being pregnant. Swollen ankles, sore back, etc. I can honestly say this is one of the coolest experiences I have ever had.

Four years ago when I was still pretty solid on the fact that I would NEVER have children, the reasons included: I didn’t want to be tied down, I want to be able to travel the world, I don’t want to be thrown up on, etc. I had a zillion reasons why I didn’t want to have them. When my ideas about motherhood and children changed (most likely a result of my biological clock giving me a big punch in my ovaries), I realized the problem wasn’t about having kids, it was my viewpoint.

Once I realized how much I wanted to have kids all those reasons I didn’t quickly turned around. I realized I wouldn’t be tied down unless I thought of it that way. Sure, my life is about to be drastically different, but when I thought of spending the next couple decades doing the exact same things I have been, that seemed to be less adventurous to me. At least I know that my life is about to be really unpredictable. When it comes to travel, sure the international aspect might die down a little, but it isn’t like I am able to afford to go on 5 trips a year anyway. Right now it is looking like once every other year for something major, and there is no reason that Nugget can’t be easily incorporated into that plan. In fact, my immediate plan is to travel as much as possible with this kid. I have heard the earlier you do it, the more they get used to it. I have already started scouting out ways to bring him on my business trips. As for the other reasons, well, to be honest, it would still be really awesome to never get thrown up on, but I know that is not going to happen.

I was traveling last week for work and after jumping out stepping cautiously out of the shower, I busted up. First of all, my belly is starting to get round, but more in like the Santa Clause way then the cute skinny pregnant girl way. Again I will never be the skinny pregnant girl with the perfectly round belly. But the second thing, was my nipples. I am not sure who stole mine, but these replacements took me by surprise, to say the least. I think I already mentioned how much they’ve grown, if not, there ya go. But now they are getting ridiculously dark. After laughing about it at my midwife, she explained a theory about how they get darker so that the baby can see them. Apparently babies can’t distinguish a whole lot at first, but they do recognize contrasts. So your nipples become like landing beacons for the baby, like they are saying ‘hey kid, over here’. Pretty hilarious.

Oh I do have one piece of advice to pass along. One thing you should never do while happy and pregnant is watch “Super Nanny”. I made the dreaded mistake of doing that the other day and almost flipped the F out. I think I have been dreading having teenagers anyway, but this just quadruple-confirmed why military school doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea for Nugget when he hits his teens. I wanted to punch these teenagers through the tv. What I should have done was turn the TV off and gone back into my blissful daydreams about parenthood. So FYI, stay in La-La land as long as possible. I know I am happier here.

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6 thoughts on “Whose Nipples Are These?

  1. My nips are ridiculous too. Although as my husband loves to point out, its actually my AREOLAS that are darker. I, of course, hate the word "areola" so the whole kit and kaboodle is a nipple to me.

  2. haha….you had me laugh out loud on this one! I too have a jolly st. nick belly and will never be the tiny chick with the cute baby bump. My husband like to tease me and call me "boobydoo" because my belly sticks past where my booby do. This makes me giggle. As for the nipples…yeah, mine are like brown silver dollar pancakes. So weird! Keep the honesty coming – glad to know we're all in the same preggo boat here!

  3. Ha! Ok, this is gonna be long, but here it goes. Start at the crown of your head, so maybe 3-4 inches back from where your hair line starts. Take a small section, and the key is to make it a triangle shape with the point towards your face. Get a good stiff comb with the teeth pretty close together. You go down, out, and up with the comb. She used the word “rake” which made it click for me. I was putting the comb all the way through and just brushing up and down. Nope. Don’t put the comb all the way through. Keep the hair flat, meaning don’t bunch it up in a clump – hold it straight up, tight, and start raking at it. I also used to put hair spray on each section before I would start teasing b/c otherwise it wouldn’t stay standing up, but with this method, I don’t have to. You can if you want though. Once that first triangle section is good and teased (don’t tease it too much though since that will be the top of your poof and you don’t want to have to comb out too many tangles), grab another small section behind the triangle section, towards the back of your neck. The key with this one is to get a “slice” of hair, a thin section. Then do the same thing holding it straight up, tight, and raking. Go one or two more sections down the back of your head. Then go to the side of your head and do one or two sections on each side so it’s not just a big pointed poof in the back. Then start brushing it out and spray it. Try that and see if you get it better! I’ve done it for the last two days now and this method has worked the best for me by far!I would love to get together when you come to KC! Eek, my first blogland meeting! Ha! I don’t know of anything going on for me that weekend, but I will make myself available whenever you are. Where does your family live? And it is crazy how much we have in common. I got goose bumps reading your comment about our mom’s being friends and having a hand in us finding each other’s blogs. Now that I’ve written a novel, here is my email address so we can better coordinate when you come to town: sjennings@bakeru.edu. So excited!!

  4. Ummm yeah…..a few weeks ago I was changing clothes and Hubs looked at me and said, "Did you realize how ginormous your nipples have gotten?" Followed closely by, "When you're done being pregnant, will they go back to normal?" I can only hope!! Hope you're doing well in the final stretch!

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