That Thing You Should Never Ask Your Husband, But You Do It Anyway

So last night I was getting a back rub, score!, but wait, I did the dumbest thing you could ever do. I asked Andy ‘So do I um…look different from behind?’. He was quiet for a second and then he said ‘what?’. ‘You know can you tell there is a difference in me from behind? Or is it just that my belly is rounder and that is the only real difference?’. Andy is a smart fellow and we’ve been together for 11 years so it didn’t take him more than a second to realize how to answer that one. He said ‘yeah I think you look the same besides your belly’. Then I downloaded the pictures off of my camera and realize he’s a fuckin’ liar.

But I love him for being a liar. He took some pictures of me a while back because he was laughing at my pajamas. It was the freakin’ weekend and I refused to turn around and let him have the satisfaction of getting my face in the shot. Yes my pants are short, that is because you can’t buy yoga pants that are long enough for my legs, or at least that are long enough after you wash and dry them a few times. And yes I am wearing wool moose socks and crocs. And yes my t-shirt has a dog on it that looks more like a skunk, but it was from a charity event. It’s not a freakin’ Monet. Anyway, when I saw this picture, I realized how big a liar we women make our men become. I am not stupid. I know not to ask a question that I don’t really want the answer to, but I did it anyway. In fact before he got into bed I was looking at my bare legs and realizing they are “sturdier” than they used to be. I was a little distraught, but it didn’t last long. I know anything that is happening to me now I will be able to work on reversing in a few months time. And if I can’t, I’ll be distracted anyway.
Ah but the fact that Andy was clever enough to pass this test doesn’t mean he doesn’t slip up. The other day we went to the jewelry store to get his ring resized (Victory for the swelling girl’s club, Andy’s fingers grew a whole size since we got married!) and he asked me if I had been drinking chocolate milk. I was like ‘um no why?’. Then he reached over to rub the spot above my lip and then he said ‘huh, you have a brown shadow type thing on your lip….maybe it is a pregnancy thing’. This is not what you want to hear before you go into a jewelry store where there are strangers who will invariably pester the hell out of you to “assist” you. I tried to keep my cool, and I don’t think it is at all as significant as I was picturing in my head, but this was definitely a man-fail on his part.
Anyway here are some more belly pictures from the past two weeks. I still need to take my 28 week picture. Better do that tonight. (For the previous weeks go here)

 26 weeks
27 weeks
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5 thoughts on “That Thing You Should Never Ask Your Husband, But You Do It Anyway

  1. I find that telling the whole truth is almost never necessary. 🙂 Good for your husband for taking the safe route! I always tell my friends that I am a big fan of beating around the bush…no need for brutal honesty around me.

  2. The Boy has been saying some pretty stupid things lately and its gotten to the point where he says it, stops cold, turns his head and just stares at me dumbfounded. I should start writing them down as there are some doozies. Everything from complaining about an extra couple pounds around his midsection to telling me how much better off the baby would be if HE could carry it. WHAT?! Hilarious.

  3. Awh – fun!!! It's great to see some updated belly pics of you! It's good husbands do those white lies about our weight to keep our sanity intact – especially when pregnant!

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