When in doubt….accomplish things.

* First off, I just wanted to make a public announcement that I just drooled into my own cleavage. I was just sitting here finishing up an work assignment and unbeknownst to me my mouth was gaping open. All of a sudden I felt a warm wet dribble escape my lip and find its way onto my boob below. Are you serious? How old am I, 100? Apparently I can’t control my saliva function any longer. *Sigh* what would life be like if I wasn’t such a dork? Boring that is what. Okay on with the post.
As you might imagine, the last week has been a bit of a rollercoaster. I have done really well to compartmentalize and stay positive and what not. But the way I do that is by focusing on the things I can control: chores, work, my hair who am I kidding, I can never control my hair. So to establish some control over my life I have been checking things off my to do list. I ordered my birth kit and the super awesome birthing pool I will be setting up somewhere in the house.

Seriously, this is it. Sure there are more official looking ones with fancy heaters and pumps ($$$). But this one has fish and an octopus on it, plus it was $30. Um hello, it’s the one.

Just these two little acts made me take a sigh of relief. I am really going to be able to do this. I am really going to have a home birth. Not sure if I have actually shared that my biggest concern since I started talking about having a home birth has been having to tell people that it didn’t work out. I haven’t had a ton of opposition per se, but I have been met with a fair amount of skepticism. If there is one thing I am, it is determined. Once I have set my mind on something, I have to achieve it. Failure could be devastating. I didn’t want those skeptics to say ‘yeah I knew she would go to the hospital (or need drugs)’.
But I knew there was only so much I could control through this pregnancy. Women who plan home births have to change their plans for any number of reasons, many out of their control. I have been diligent about controlling the things that I can and so far so good. My midwife will check my glucose and iron levels one more time (I think this week) and that is pretty much the last indicator unless something drastically changes in the next 8 weeks.
Even after I had awesome results for my first screening at 28 weeks I didn’t really relax into the idea that my plans were going to be a reality until I hit “purchase” on my birth kit and pool. Now I am getting really excited. I can’t wait to put all my supplies into a bin and label it “birth kit”. If I could equate the feeling, it is like going school supply shopping and then being able to write “Senior Thesis” in permanent marker on your notebook, the last important class before graduation. Damn it, I just made another dorky school reference. I would say ‘I am not as nerdy as I sound’, but that would be a lie and I am pretty sure you would see through it. Anyway, like I said, we’re not home free yet, but it is looking more and more like a reality. Again I am not against hospital birth and I know that no matter what has to happen, the most important thing to me is just getting Nugget here safe and sound. But I have daydreamed about this birth for a long time, bringing Nugget into the world in our home, growing our family in the “nest” we built for it, it just seems so perfect. Of course, if you were to see a video of said event (which I assure you won’t be happening), you probably wouldn’t see this romantic view of things. You might just see a big chunky pregnant lady waddling around, sweating and groaning and looking a little miserable. But in my head, you will see a happy glowing, super hot pregnant lady with an adorable round belly, relaxing in her house, talking calmly and happily with her husband as she waits for the arrival of her perfect little Nugget.

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9 thoughts on “When in doubt….accomplish things.

  1. I have to ask – how will you keep the water warm? I've always wondered that… 🙂 I can't wait to hear all about your successful home birth. Awesomeness.And the drooling, well, that's pretty awesome as well.

  2. I just know that you will have a successful home birth, but it sounds like you have the right attitude no matter what. I suspect that knowing that you have done everything in your power to have the birthing experience you want would make a change in plan a little more bearable. My question is, what do you do with the pool after after the big day? I feel like you wouldn't want to throw it away for sentimental reasons (get it bronzed perhaps), and yet I can't quite picture you and Nugget sitting in that little pool on a hot summer day. Hmmm…food for thought. 🙂

  3. I think Natalie is going to borrow me her tub to use after she's done (HA – Charlie would freak about that, but I think it'd be great). Drooling – funny as shit.

  4. Ulghh, totally gagged about reusing the tub later on!! lol Although if you keep up the drooling…just kidding! ;-)So I didn't know you're having a home birth! Please tell me I didn't miss it anywhere (I've been sleep deprived lately) but I'm so excited for you! What made you decide to do a home birth? I'm currently on the fence for whever we get pregnant, but we have NO home birth midwives within 100 miles. 😦

  5. My question is…. How do you DRAIN the pool when you're done? Buckets? And I promise I'm not being a smart-ass….I totally have no clue how you'd do that indoors!

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