Bring Your Nugget to Work

I did it bitches! I brought my kid to work, count them, two weeks in a row! And you know what? It fuckin’ rocked my socks off. I wish I could have this kid with me every day. I would work like forty-million hours a week if I could just keep him by my side…..um note to my employer I do not mean that and I do realize there are not forty-million hours in one week……um and I really hope you don’t read this blog because I just wrote about stuff you don’t need to know (re: vajayjay post).

Anyway, I know I said I was going to “verify” with my boss that he really thinks it is okay to bring Jack in with me, but I didn’t. Because I am a freakin’ rebel and shit…..okay mostly because he was pretty clear when he used the words ‘it is okay with me if you bring him in sometimes’. I know, how could I understand what he was saying through all that vagueness? Anyway, two fridays ago I decided to test it out. I was a little nervous. The big boss was in town and if Jack’s first day went rough there was a high likelihood that it would never be happening again. But he kicked the shit out of my worries.

I got up a little earlier so I could triple check that I had packed everything we might need. Score for me for bringing three extra outfits. More on that in a minute. I had like 10 diapers (of which I needed 2) a bagillion wipes and two blankets. I was prepared to wisk Jack away at any moment if he started fussing at all….and what did the kid do? he slept in his carseat until 10:30! We arrived at about 7am and I didn’t want to wake him so I just left him in his seat. When he woke up I took him to the nursing room and fed him. Then he was being real quiet and content, so I set him back in his carseat. Mistake on my part. The angle of the carseat squishes their belly….meaning crazy vomit! Poor kid upchucked pretty much everything he just ate. I snatched him up before anyone realized and changed him. Then he sat on my lap and took a huge loud poo. Kevin heard it and congratulated him on a job well done there. Had to change his clothes again because we had a smidge of a leak. Didn’t want my kid to smell funny though. That was all within 15 minutes.

Kevin snatched him up and was talking to him for about 30 minutes. It was pretty cute and hilarious. By then my work was done and I was just hanging out for the big boss’ wife to come by to meet Jack. BTW the Big Boss was totally cool with Jack being around on Fridays. Score! His wife was so adorable. I am fairly positive they struggled for a long time with infertility. I have never felt quite right about asking her about it, but I do know that they recently “gave up”. The big boss purchased an M5? M3? BMW. Not sure which one. But when he did he jokingly said that his wife told him ‘go ahead it isn’t like we’re saving for the kid’s college education’. So that made it pretty obvious. But they both LOVE kids. I feel for them so much I have thought more than once about offering to surrogate for them…..which would be weird right? But seriously I have a strange urge to give away children all of a sudden. I did hear a radio commercial for donating eggs and was excited that they seemed to have upped the age limit to 33 now. I remember it used to be 25. Anyway, getting off track here.

So after they ooed and awwed over Jack, we packed up and went home. I felt like Caesar conquering a new country!….not the part later with Brutus. Then last week I did it again. The big wigs were all out of the office and I knew everyone else was cool with it. This time I put Jack in the Moby and he slept until 10a. Then I fed him. He played with Mary Jo, then Kevin, and then he sat with me for a bit while I finished up. Then it was time to go again. Pretty effortless. The second time we avoided the several outfit changes. 

I am not too sure whether we’ll do it again this week. It is kind of dependant on whether Jack is taking a bottle this week. He still wasn’t doing so well with it last week. Andy was so stressed out on Thursday I thought he was going to explode. Jack cried the entire day and was not going to take any of the milk. So Friday ended up being a good break for Andy. He slept in, went off and did his own thing, etc. 

I left messages with two lactaction consultants on Friday to try to get someone who could come help him with it….of course I haven’t heard back from either. I am thinking it was because of the holiday, but here we are on Tuesday and still nothing. Pickle’s mom is down today trying to help him out. I am excited and nervous to hear about the day’s outcome. He is obviously not starving and I know that he will be fine doing this whole “reverse cycling” thing. I just really hope we can get him to take a bottle happily and regularly. It will make so many things easier and I won’t feel so guilt-ridden that Andy is dealing with a screaming baby all day. 

I did try a couple of things this weekend. One was a bait and switch. We were driving up to my dad’s and he started sucking on my finger, so I switched it for the bottle. He didn’t really drink from it, but he didn’t cry either and I just let it sit in his mouth for about 30 minutes…he fell asleep at that point. The second was bourbon….I know I know get ready to call CPS on us. But we are pretty certain he is teething. It is early, yes, but all the signs are pointing to it. We were wondering if that was an issue with the bottle. Because he will start to chew on it and then get really upset like it hurts. I thought about going to buy a tube of the baby numbing stuff, but we had a bottle of bourbon handy, so I decided to dip my finger and rub it on his gums.

He seemed to respond well to it. He smiled a lot and I put the bottle in his mouth. He played around with it in his mouth, but again didn’t drink from it. But the sources all say if you can get them to play with it happily that is a good step. So I’ll take it I guess. I’ll keep you all posted on our progress. This totally freakin’ sucks by the way. I definitely thought this would only take a couple of weeks. I NEVER would have thought it would take 5 + weeks. We have officially been bested by a 2 1/2 month old.

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3 thoughts on “Bring Your Nugget to Work

  1. That is awesome you're able to bring Jack to work! I bet that makes it so much more fun.That really does suck about him not taking to the bottle. I'm sure you'll figure it out but I bet it's super frustrating. I give you lots of credit though because I wasn't able to stick with breastfeeding because Penelope refused to take the nipple. Oh well….

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