One for the Hommies

So I know how much you guys love it when I do silly/stupid shit. Well I do love to deliver. Here’s the latest.

Saturday morning I was toying with ideas for what to have for breakfast. My milk has a “Best By” June 15th date on it so I was thinking ‘have to eat something that requires milk’. Well I just recently purchased a new box of Car.nation In.stant Bre.akfast with the exact intent on conquering this gallon of milk that is threatening to expire any day now.

I pulled a glass down from the cupboard. Walked to the other side of the kitchen where I keep the C.I.B and grabbed a packet. In my head I was strategizing ‘don’t get the milk now, to maintain extra coldness I should first empty the powder into the glass, then throw the packet away, then get the milk, then mix it’. Apparently my brain was slower than my hands because as I was thinking of the steps to accomplish this ridiculously simple task, my body walked over to the trash can while simultaneously opening the packet. I pushed on the foot thingy to open the lid and dumped the powder into the trash can. Then holding the packet I turned to look at my empty cup.

‘Wait a sec…..what just happened here?’. Then I started busting up laughing. ‘I can’t believe that really just happened!’. As I was laughing I walked back over to the cupboard to get a second C.I.B packet I thought to myself ‘well that one was for my hommies!’. Because let’s face it people, our hommies usually only get dribbles of beer…..bad beer, like Mickey’s. Maybe if they’re lucky they get a shot of Evan Williams or Smirnoff. None of that is very well rounded. But C.I.B? Now we’re talking nutrients. Let’s take a look shall we? 

2x the protein of an egg
2x the calcium of yogurt
2x the vitamin D of a glass of milk…..hey wait a minute isn’t there technically a glass of milk included in the breakfast? So does that make the mixture 3x or does it just mean the powder is like 1x and the milk is 1x = 2x? Oh the questions this raises.
2x the vitamin C of a glass of juice…..see this is clear cut. No juice in there = understanding that there is 2x. I am still a little fucked up in the head over that 2x the vitamin D thing.
21 vitamins and minerals.

So hommies, just remember, it was me that was giving you the nutrients and vitamins that you really need…..even if you do prefer the beer/alcohol over my C.I.B.

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3 thoughts on “One for the Hommies

  1. Sounds like a case of mommy brain! I had that on Sunday…I went to the grocery store, did all my shopping, went to check out…and realized I forgot my wallet at home! They rolled the whole cart into their produce freezer so I could go home and get my wallet. Duh!

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