Sorry I have been M.I.A. I have a post I want to do, but it requires me to upload some pictures…which did you know that camera’s need to have like a charged battery to upload pictures? Weird. So yeah, maybe next week on that one.
I am in a new 2 WW and strangely it is not as hard as the pregnancy 2WW….granted I have been in this new 2WW for a whole 18 minutes or so, so I guess I am probably speaking too soon.
I finally did it. ‘members that post I wrote while pregnant about how some of my molies were a-growin’? Well I decided to wait until after Jack was born to make an appointment with a dermatologist. Mostly because my midwife took a look at them and said I do need to get them checked out, but chances are I will have to have them biopsied and open wounds when you’re about to stretch to deliver a baby might not be good. She told me it was pretty normal that things grow while you’re pregnant. So I decided to wait.
Now don’t chastise me for waiting four months. It isn’t that I didn’t think this was important, but I just kept an eye on them and they haven’t really changed. Now that time seems to be a little freer I made the appointment.
Long story short, he biopsied 3 areas. One on my cheek, holla if you see me, I am the one with a bandaid on my face….thinking I will go get some sweet ones like hello kitty or something since I have to continue to vasaline and bandaid the biopsy areas for a couple of days. Go big or go home right?…One on my left calf. That one wasn’t on the planned list, but I looked at it a week ago and I was like ‘hey is this one different?’…turns out the doctor said it looked strange so he wanted to biopsy that one. And the big one that was of most concern down by my vajayjay.
Turns out that is a hard area to examine…and super awkward. Appointment started out with him looking me over and then he said I could point out the ones I was concerned about. I was instructed to leave on my undergarments so the biggie wasn’t readily visible. When we got to the pointing out time I started with the face one. He said ‘yeah it looks like maybe just an oil duct impacted with a mole, but, not to scare you, but sometimes that is what cancer looks like’. Awesome! I am sure that doesn’t worry you peeps either right?….hahaha. Don’t worry it will be fine.
Okay are you warmed up? Relaxed? Just want to check because I don’t want you to panic when I tell you about the big one. Alrighty…so I akwardly say ‘and there is another one really low in my pubic area’. So I laid back and pulled the undies down. He took a quick look and said ‘hmm….okay well. Let’s get those other two biopsied and then I want to take a better look at that one with more magnification and better light. I’ll be right back’. He went to get the nurse to prep me. But at this point I was like ‘hey that didn’t seem too bad, maybe it looks pretty normal to him’.
Nurse comes in, numbs me up. Hahaha. okay so she was all ‘alright I am going to inject you. It is going to be a little pinch and then some pain as the medication goes in’. I wanted to be like ‘you’re sweet, but I did just have a baby’. We should get a sticker that says ‘Natural Birth = Slightly Higher than Normal Pain Tolerance’. That isn’t very catchy. Someone work on that for me. Obviously the needles were barely noticeable.
Doc comes back in, quickly shaves off the top of the two spots and then has me pull down my undies again to take a better look at….let’s call him Gigantor! because I like to name things….
He looks for a bit and then he pulls back and says (with worried eyes) ‘okay well, I see a lot of these on women. I don’t know why, but things grow down there and they get big. This one doesn’t look that good. I will tell you that 90% of the time when I biopsy one they come back abnormal. So then you would have to go to a plastic surgeon to have it removed.’ He asked me some more questions to make sure that I noticed it growing and that it has in fact changed. Which didn’t make his worry face get better. He asked me what I wanted to do.
It was weird it was kind of like he was asking ‘I can biopsy it, but it will probably come back abnormal or we could not biopsy it’. I wanted to be like ‘so if we don’t biopsy it then do I get a unicorn or some sort of door prize?’. It didn’t really seem like a choice. Or at least it seemed like an illogical one. He was probably saying ‘we could not biopsy it and you could continue to stay in your much adored DenialLand’.
Anyway obviously that was the main reason I was there, so biopsy it I did….well he did. I walked out of there with two bandaids and some gauze stuffed in my underwear…because bandaids don’t stick well to hair…TMI? Sorry. Now I have instructions to lubricate and bandage them for a couple of days to help them heal and that it will be a 2WW to find out the results.
I texted my pal Oak….since she is the veteran skin cancer connoisseur…wait connoisseur doesn’t just apply to food, wine and beer right? I am 98% certain Oak doesn’t not eat skin cancer…but that does leave a 2% margin…just kidding of course I know connoisseur doesn’t just apply to food, wine and beer. She told me that if it is bad news they often call you right away. So that is good….well bad, but good in that you don’t have to wait as long…..you get what I am saying.
Then we B.S.ed about how apparently I have been tanning my pink parts too much. All in all peeps, I am not scared. This will be okay, no matter what happens. Best case scenario would be that it is nothing….or they are all nothing. Worse scenario is that I get some plastic surgery and you can all tease me for being ‘so L.A.’ and the absolute worst case scenario…well we don’t go there in this blog because I am an optimist. There are no worst case scenarios here. Look elsewhere for those.
Anyhoodles. Hope you all have a kick ass weekend. I have a shit ton of stuff to do before our garage sale tomorrow. And we meet with a home daycare this afternoon. So busy day ahead. Gotta hit the road.