The Wittiest Post Twas Ever Written

Sorry for the false advertising, but dooods I am totally not functioning today. My brain is made of mush and I am all but having to hold my eyelids open in order to pretend like I am here and awake. FYI totally possible to sleep with your eyes open. Jack is sick and teething and just generally kind of a pissed off little dude from the hours of 10pm to 6am. What Mom? This is your sleeping time? Well fuck you I don’t feel good and no, you can’t fix it, you can just sit there hopelessly while I scream. It sucks. There isn’t much I can do. I bulb out his nose, put saline drops in, repeat, bounce, cuddle, shhhh, rock, etc. Thank god we have an old person/hospital bed that sits up. We were able to sit the bed up, Jack sat in between Andy and I, I tilted him slightly onto his right side because he was breathing better out of his left nostril, and we were able to grab a few hours of snooze time. Last night was better than Sunday night, but fuck! I don’t know how many more nights I can do this and still make it to work on time. So rather than bore you with my dribble, I will try to make you laugh. Need a new book for your kid?

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6 thoughts on “The Wittiest Post Twas Ever Written

  1. First of all, I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch. P isn't teething yet but she's close…I can just tell. I'm not looking forward to it at all! And second…is that a real book? Please tell me it's not. Yikes!

  2. Sleep deprivation truly is torture, not only for the person deprived of sleep but also for everyone who has to deal with them. My husband found that out last week! And what a great idea for a kid book! I actually LOVE to travel but haven't flown anywhere in years and kind of don't even want to anymore. You'd think I'd be used to getting groped by now, but after having SO many people's hands all over me (and IN me, ugh!) it's just enough already, ya know?

  3. Oh my frickin god Cadence did the same thing for almost 3 straight weeks. I mean, come on kid, if you want me to shake you just say so! Just kidding. But seriously… thank god that's finally over! Hope you get some sleep soon!

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