Eyebrows, there should be two of them

To say I have been neglecting my appearance would kind of be the understatement of the year. There are a few ways that I have kept up with the basics.

  • nails – I have a nail file and clippers at work. So surprisingly they are a decent length and I am able to keep them from getting chips and breaks and shit. Toes – I loves me a pedicure and I seem to be able to manage that with a baby. Jack will either sit on my lap, or chill in his carseat and flirt with the ladies while my claws get tamed.

  • eyebrows – um yeah, so I realized about a week ago that these were getting bad and do to baby-related constraints I have had to tackle the beast over a few days. Basically in the 45 seconds I have before I need to be out the door for work, I try to locate and erraticate the most offensive eyebrow hairs. I can happily say after a few mornings of this, I am about half way there! So in another week these monsters should be under control.

  • unwanted hair – um who am I kidding, the vajayjay is out of control! does anyone have a weed wacker? I am lucky if I remember I have armpits once a week. Often times when I realize and lift up the arm in the shower it is like a crazy surprise ‘wow! how does hair grow that fast?’ The legs I attack at about the same pace as my eyebrows. Is anyone able to take more than a 50 second shower? I miss those days. Usually it is like “concentrate on the shins”. I am not sure where this tactic came from, but it has become some sort of unspoken rule (with myself obvi) that having shaved shins is the most important part.

  • hair – um I pretty much do the same thing to it every day. sigh. I swear I used to be at least a fraction of a percent girlier than I am right now.

  • clothes – just fucking give up on life now, why don’t ya. My clothes are so sad. So very very sad. And it isn’t that I don’t have cute clothes…I do. It is just that I have gotten in this rut where I have seven or eight outfits that are easily located and put together and I stick with those.

Basically I need to step up my game. The good news is my oral hygiene is immaculate. Holla for an awesome dental appointment!!!….Is it sad that I have gotten to the age when it is exciting to get a ‘your teeth look great!’ from a dentist? I guess I am just excited to know that I can take care of something on my person well.


12 thoughts on “Eyebrows, there should be two of them

  1. Pull everything out of your closet… only put back in the clothes you actually want to wear again, and since things go back in a different order, you'll rediscover old outfits you loved!My toenails are bare b/c it required all my effort and grunting to get the old polish off and I'm too cheap to get a pedicure. *sigh*Good luck with those eyebrows – there should definitely be two of them. 🙂

  2. I feel ya!!! I don't know how anyone has the time to shave, pluck or god forbid wax! I am lucky to get a shower before 9 or 10 at night, much less groom. Good thing my husband and I are too tired to do anything remotely sexy. I may scare him away if we did!

  3. I'm all about the shaved shins!! I need a pedicure like it's nobody's business. I get my nails and eyebrows done (not often enough), but otherwise I'm with you on every single point. 🙂

  4. You crack me up! I can relate to all of this and spent a good 30 minutes grooming last night before my anniversary bedroom session. Felt like I should at least trim up a bit for the special occasion. Otherwise Josh might have gotten lost! Yikes.

  5. I suspect the girls are going to want you to pay a little attention to some of your "special places" before the trip. 🙂 I hear ya about thing getting away from you though. I never realize how bad my eyebrows have gotten until I get them done and then it's like a lightbulb goes off about how bad they were.

  6. I am like a gorilla girl now that Im preggs. I was hairy to begin with, but now with all the hormones and stuff, I can't keep up with all the hair! So gross!! Guess it's just prepping me for when he baby arrives and my razor gets rusty 😉

  7. OMG I am in the same boat but worse….my toes look horrible, my brows are bushy, and my legs…well forget about it! I feel so bad for my husband but hey – he doesn't shave his face every day so I'm not shaving my legs every month. That's fair, right?

  8. You say this on a day that despite a) it's raining and b) i haven't shaved my legs since my iui 11 days ago, I am still wearing capri pants. Score one for the woolly mammoths of the world!

  9. I had to do an hour "spa" treatment on myself the other day before my surgery….There was just way too much going on to tackle bit at a time. I needed a full-on attack, black-ops style to get my junk in order. Seriously.

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