To say I have been neglecting my appearance would kind of be the understatement of the year. There are a few ways that I have kept up with the basics.
- nails – I have a nail file and clippers at work. So surprisingly they are a decent length and I am able to keep them from getting chips and breaks and shit. Toes – I loves me a pedicure and I seem to be able to manage that with a baby. Jack will either sit on my lap, or chill in his carseat and flirt with the ladies while my claws get tamed.
- eyebrows – um yeah, so I realized about a week ago that these were getting bad and do to baby-related constraints I have had to tackle the beast over a few days. Basically in the 45 seconds I have before I need to be out the door for work, I try to locate and erraticate the most offensive eyebrow hairs. I can happily say after a few mornings of this, I am about half way there! So in another week these monsters should be under control.
- unwanted hair – um who am I kidding, the vajayjay is out of control! does anyone have a weed wacker? I am lucky if I remember I have armpits once a week. Often times when I realize and lift up the arm in the shower it is like a crazy surprise ‘wow! how does hair grow that fast?’ The legs I attack at about the same pace as my eyebrows. Is anyone able to take more than a 50 second shower? I miss those days. Usually it is like “concentrate on the shins”. I am not sure where this tactic came from, but it has become some sort of unspoken rule (with myself obvi) that having shaved shins is the most important part.
- hair – um I pretty much do the same thing to it every day. sigh. I swear I used to be at least a fraction of a percent girlier than I am right now.
- clothes – just fucking give up on life now, why don’t ya. My clothes are so sad. So very very sad. And it isn’t that I don’t have cute clothes…I do. It is just that I have gotten in this rut where I have seven or eight outfits that are easily located and put together and I stick with those.
Basically I need to step up my game. The good news is my oral hygiene is immaculate. Holla for an awesome dental appointment!!!….Is it sad that I have gotten to the age when it is exciting to get a ‘your teeth look great!’ from a dentist? I guess I am just excited to know that I can take care of something on my person well.