Bittersweet….(literally and figuratively)

I took Jack to work last Friday for a couple of reasons: I wanted to capitalize on our time together since he would be overnighting with Grandpa and Grandma, everyone at work was begging to see him, and because I was trying to get up to Greeley as soon as possible after work for Jack and my play date. My friend Larbar was in town for her high school reunion. I had met up with her in July (or June….when was it?…my brain is old) when she was in town. We met at a bar and I brought Jack….because I am classy…but she was a responsible parent (i.e. she wanted to freely drink…or rather she was classier than me, who was holding a giant glass of beer and my baby. Multi-tasking!) so she left her daughter, Cadence, with Grandma and Grandpa. So when she told me she would be back this past weekend, I wanted to be sure to meet Cadence this go ’round. Cadence is an awesome little girl. She has a special story and I can in no way do it justice here, so it would be better to read her mommy’s account here. To give you a quick preview though, Cadence is 14 months, so twice Jack’s age, but due to a tumor on her spinal cord, she is the same size as Jack. So far, the tumor has been shrinking, YAY! Hopefully it will eventually just disappear, but this does mean it is affecting her development. She can’t be stopped though. Jack and her played together while Lara and I talked about motherhood, our births, life, our childhoods, etc. We took a walk around her neighborhood and laughed at the fact that the last time we had done this was probably at the age of 9 when we were trick-or-treating. So strange to be pushing/carrying our babies through the same neighborhood 20 years later.
Jack “wow these toys are awesome!”
Cadence “um what is that boy doing?”

We’re paying attention to the camera, but the babies are looking at Lara’s mom. hahaha.

Notice Cadence is rocking the jeggings. So stylish already.

Okay this requires some explanation. Lara and my mom met while working at the hospital. I found some letters my mom had written saying that Marcia was one of the first friends she met upon moving to Colorado. When they were pregnant with Lara and myself, they took a pre-natal jazzercise class together….I am not positive it was jazzercise, but that makes the story more hilarious. I am just imagining sweat bands, slouched socks, and giant bellies. When I was born, Lara’s mom made me a blanket (similar to the one above). So when Lara was born, my mom borrowed the pattern and made her an identical blanket (the one in the picture). Lara took care of her shit, so my blanket didn’t survive me loving it to death. But her’s did. Thus when we got together a picture had to be taken.


It wasn’t until I took this picture that it really hit me. I found myself driving away with tears in my eyes. I had a wonderful time hanging out with Cadence and Lara, but I realized on my way to Jack’s grandparents that someone was missing from this picture. 😦 I guess I won’t ever stop missing her. Which I know isn’t a bad thing. I am so thankful to still have Lara in my life. 

9 thoughts on “Bittersweet….(literally and figuratively)

  1. I'm sorry girlie…that must be so hard and hit at the most random times. 😦 What a great story though about your mom. It kind of makes me glad to have a blog to keep all of these memories alive…you never know who will read it some day.

  2. Wow. What a beautiful post. I wish I had more comforting words, but I will say that I know your mom is proud of you: you are such a good mommy. Your love for Jack pours out onto the page. It really does. xoxo

  3. Aw, tears. You have so much love for her, it touches me every time. I love that you have a friend like this. So special. xoCan't wait to see you tomorrow…as if I can say that now!

  4. Awwwww love it! Your mom might not show up in the pictures, but she was there. I know she wouldn't miss a day like that. I had so much fun with you and Jack! We def need to get together again soon!

  5. I feel the same way about my mom not being around. I try to keep my jealousy at my friends who have their moms around to experience their new baby to myself most times. But it's there, and it sucks.

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