The Post Where I Feel Incredibly Sorry For Myself – Just Skip It

The title should give you fair warning. Just get out now while you can. I am not really sure who I pissed off, but apparently the career gods are really against me these past couple of weeks. Here’s a rundown of how I have been karmically shit on recently:

About a month ago, in the evening my phone kept buzzing. It was when we were touring the new daycare. I realized I had missed 5 calls from my boss, and he called again, so I excused myself for a second, answered and asked him if I could call him back in a few minutes. Apparently I wasn’t fast enough for him because as we were filling out paperwork he called again. What the hell? Finally when we got in the car I called him back. He was in a frenzy of excitement and said ‘I am just going to throw this out there, you can take time to talk to Andy about it, but can you move to China for a couple of months’. Let me back up a second. Do you remember like forever ago when I was cryptically saying “Something really exciting might happen at work?” It’s cool if you don’t remember, it was like 4 months ago. Anyway, that was the cool thing. And here it was actually happening! Holy crap.

I turned to Andy and within a minute he was like ‘sure!’. Obviously we are kind of in the perfect position to do this. He is in school and depending on the timing he could just take a semester off. There really wasn’t much holding us back. So as you can probably figure out, last week I found out that I was not actually chosen to go…..but what makes it even better is that the new guy in our office was chosen. WTF? He is a cool guy, but he was hired less than 3 months ago, I have been here for 4 years. Now he was going to China?

I was livid and hurt and a bundle of emotions. I couldn’t even bring myself to ask my boss about it because I knew it would involve me bursting into tears. Not exactly the grown-up way to handle something. I gave myself some time to cool off, but I was going to ask.

The saving grace of that situation is that I was selected to present at an interview for a new project in Washington (the state). I present for clients regularly, but I have never been involved in getting a job, just once we have the jobs already. I was nervous, but also pep-talking myself into it. You are almost 30 years old, this is where you want to go, you can do it. So as disappointed as I was about China, I thought to myself if you go to china, then you can’t work on this project, this would be all yours, no CAD Monkey for you.

I prepped myself, picked out a snazzy outfit, psyched myself up….I was ready. We presented on Monday. I thought it went awesome. I knew there were other firms interviewing for the job, but there was just this thought that we were the ones…..I found out yesterday that we were not selected. Awesome. No new project and no China. My wounds were getting deeper and less easy to ignore.

But before I found out about the results of our interview, I built up the courage to approach my boss about China……well there was some vodka involved, but liquid courage is still courage right? I count it. I had kind of figured it out anyway, but he just confirmed that they were sending entry-level people and he pointed out that they were only sending guys so that they could rent one house and not have to worry about appearances and what not. Fine, but still I was sad. I know it is some sick entitlement complex that I need to get over, but it is still hard to not feel a little jaded about that whole situation.

Despite everything going on with getting ready for the presentation, I took a couple of hours to enter into a quick competition for a new terminal project we are going after. I always try to take advantage of opportunities and what not. Turns out, the project officer liked what I put together and asked my boss if he could have me for a day to help with the project. Shit yeah. I found that out on Monday after our presentation, before we got news of not being selected. So despite China, I thought things were looking up.

Tuesday was just a shit storm. Jack had a fever so I stayed home with him. I still logged on to my e-mail and called in to talk to my boss about everything. He e-mailed me about the selection or rather lack there of. But I was still clinging onto this new terminal project.

Well what do you know, I get into work this morning and had an e-mail from the project officer saying he had passed the work off to another office. Despite the fact that the deadline is on Friday and he only needed 8 hours of help….two days in between now and Friday, you can do the math……but you know, I guess it is just par for the course.

Needless to say, I am in a funk. I know my issues are like a 1 on a 0-10 scale of horrible problems. I am a spoiled brat as I sit here huffing and puffing over this trivial shit. That is mostly why I tried not to rain on everyone’s parade.

The upside: I spent valentine’s day with my little fella. Sure he had a fever, but that just meant more cuddles for me. All-in-all I can’t complain…..well I can obviously as shown from the aforementioned, but I shouldn’t complain.


13 thoughts on “The Post Where I Feel Incredibly Sorry For Myself – Just Skip It

  1. Damn dude, that sucks about all the letdowns at work lately. I bet they are saving the biggest, best project for you, you just don’t know it yet! 🙂 On the flip side, what better way to spend V-Day than with your little guy cuddling, minus the fever.

  2. Well fuck. Just go drink and wallow in your sadness. It’s ok. Eat some chocolate too. So sorry to hear the bad news….but cuddling with little dudes has a way of making everything better, doesn’t it?

  3. All that just totally and completely sucks. You deserved all of the good things you had in the works and I know hat this means that you are now freed up to do something amazing instead. You’ll see!

  4. Major suckage! Do you want me to eat some extra chocolate for you? (Not that you can’t eat your own chocolate, just that I’d like permission to eat more than the 14 Hersey hearts I’ve already consumed today.)

    I have to agree with everyone else though, I think these little things have passed you by so that you are free for a majorly awesome, super duper thing!

  5. Major BUMMER week! I think this calls for a trip to the Springs for Margaritas…not cause the springs particularly rocks, but I do, and if vodka is “liquid courage” than tequila can be “liquid f-it-let’s-have-a-good-time-anyways” 🙂 HUGS!

  6. Can you delete my last comment? I always forget to change the user for my responses on WordPress and I’m the web administrator for my neighborhood HOA board (I know….lame!) haha. Anyway, here’s my repost. Please delete the old one asap. Thanks!

    That really sucks that all this crap came your way all at once. But keep your head up! That’s super exciting that you were chosen to be on an interview team! I used to do the marketing at a large architecture firm so I know that’s a major deal! That means they think you’re totally competent and will kick ass! So…YAY! But I am super bummed for you about China. Honestly that was kind of crappy of your boss to get you all pumped about it then choose someone else and not even give you a reason about why. He should have at least pulled you aside and given you that service. That’s just my two cents though.

  7. I second the chocolate! Best cure ever for a bad week at work. Which can completely consume you, I totally understand.

    But the good news?? I had noticed that nothing had come up from you in my reader for awhile…totally weird I thought, is she taking a blogging break? And then someone on TV said totes which totes reminded me of you, so I set about to finding you. Apparently my Google Reader went a little wonky with your blog (read: user error) and I had lost you. But I found you again! And I’m so excited. Welcome back to my reader, I’ve missed you!! 😀

  8. Pingback: Midlife Event – Step 1 | pajamasarecomfy

  9. Pingback: Alright eff this | pajamasarecomfy

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