80 Year Old Smoker = Me

So dudes turns out I am sick….well I was sicker….is sicker a word? it feels wrong….I was more sick last week. I am actually on the mend, but you wouldn’t know it from the gallons of “stuff” coming out of my face and the smoker’s cough and the super sexy voice. Let this be a lesson to you, smoking is gross….I don’t smoke, but this is what you will sound like if you do….and it is gross.

This happens about every two years. I have to take one for the team (who’s fucking team is this? and what sport are we playing?) and get sick for a couple of weeks. It is cool. I would gladly do this once every year or two than be a perpetually sick person. That would totally suck and I really feel bad for the people this happens to. Sorry people. One of those people is actually my step-niece-in-law….is that the right way of putting it? niece-step-in-law sounds like something from Mary Poppins and now I want to dance on rooftops for some reason. Anyway my SNIL is a perpetually sick baby. I feel terrible for her. Between ear infections, croup, RSV, pneumonia, and a bunch of other shit, she just totally deserves a break. So while I sat on my “get well island” (more on that in a minute), eating a cup of broccoli cheese soup from Panera and watching Doctor Zhivago (more on that in a minute too), I couldn’t help but to remember that I am definitely more fortunate health-wise than she has been. Plus I am all grown up….or at least claim to be…so I know what is happening and what not. Poor little one.

So Doctor Zhivago is fucking depressing yo. Andy laughed at me when he arrived home at hour 3 of 4 and I was like ‘Wow I didn’t realize this was going to be so depressing’. He responded ‘it is about Russia, of course it is depressing’. He’s right, I should have known. I have to say as depressing as it was, I did like it. For clarity and in case you want to watch it too, I watched the 2002 version that was on demand….I haven’t seen the older one, but I have heard good things…..I imagine it is still fairly depressing though.

Get Well Island: What is that? So when I was itty bitty this is what my parents dubbed the couch when we were sick. One of them would stay home with us and build us an area on the couch with pillows and blankets. Then on the coffee table there would be a cup of water, tissues (if required), perhaps a plate of snacks, books, crayons, whatever. They would sometimes go out and get you special “get well” stuff like the generic version of 7 Up, popsicles, a favorite movie….man we were spoiled. Anyway, on Get Well Island we would stay, alternating between naps, watching movies, chatting with mom or dad, or reading until we got better. A pretty magical notion as I remember it. Anyway, I still maintain this tradition of building a Get Well Island for myself and I am certain I will do the same for Jack.

As mentioned this go-round my Get Well snacks included soup from Panera. I sort of hit the Jack Pot this time because I ordered it to go and grabbed my bag without looking. Turns out I got two bowls of broccoli cheese soup instead of just one!…..more accurately though, I think I might have stolen someone else’s bag. oops. Hopefully my fortunate day didn’t require someone else to have a shitty one.

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5 thoughts on “80 Year Old Smoker = Me

  1. I’m right there with ya, but at least now I only sound like a 50 year old smoker. 🙂 Aw, Panera soup…reminds me of our meet ups! I could go for some Panera soup on this cloudy day. And I LOVE the idea of Get Well Island. Besides from being sick, it sounds like some good memories happened there.

  2. You’re just trying to make an excuse to lay around all day, you’re not really sick you lazy bum. Get up and get out! 🙂 Just kidding, I feel your pain, snotface.

  3. I’m named after the Lara in Dr. Zhivago… but I’ve never watched it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be up for it. Sorry you’re sick! My husband is a once a year or so sickie, while I’m a perpetually sickie. I would much rather be a once a year or so sickie. Hope you feel better soon! Also, we had a Get Well Island too… we never called it that, but that’s exactly what it was! Love it!

  4. We totally had Get Well Island too without the cute name. I would fake sick on occasion just to enjoy that time of pampering on the couch. I am sorry you’ve been so sick, but glad to hear you are on the mend!! I miss talking to you every day!!!! At least I will get some face-to-face time soon! Love you!!

  5. “I have to take one for the team (who’s fucking team is this? and what sport are we playing?)”

    LOLOL
    That is my new favorite line from PAC. Seriously.

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