So apparently I have a schedule…..what? I totally thought I was all sporadic and flexible and what not. I was like ‘I am such a cool mom because I don’t have a strict schedule that prevents us from being able to go do things in the evenings’. By the way before your panties get all twisty, I don’t look down upon those who schedule. I just feel like sometimes being so strict with your schedule fucks with enjoying your life.
Por ejemplo (bringing back the culture), I invited our neighbors to go out to dinner on a Saturday night – this was while I was still pregnant – and they responded ‘Sure! can we go at 5pm because we need to be home to get “child” to bed on time’. Now as a pompous pregnant woman I was like ‘pssshhaaww, we will NEVER be like that! A slave to our child’s bedtime routine.’
Well folks, turns out even if you don’t detail a schedule and follow it every night, just the act of parenting seems to result in a sort of schedule. Sure sometimes Jack goes to sleep at 8:30, sometimes 10. It just depends on the day, if he napped well, if he wants to stay up late. We don’t limit ourselves by not going out with friends or doing evening activities, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t formed a schedule for when we are home. And it wasn’t until the MIL arrived that I realized we even had one….and really it isn’t a schedule it is more like a routine of sorts.
I try to be a very giving daughter-in-law…..as in I give away my time with Jack to my MIL because I know that it is special to her…..but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a selfish voice in my head yelling ‘SHE IS INFRINGING ON MY SNUGGLE TIME!!!!!’. When I arrive home from work I pick up Jack and we play together, dance, cook dinner, etc. Well Wednesday I picked her up from the airport on my way home, and when I walked in the door I picked him up as usual…and then realized I had to give him to her to hold…..and I didn’t really want to. Because I am a hoarder.
Then she wanted to rock him before bed…..which is MY job (read with jealous child’s voice). Then last night she sat on the toilet and watching him while he took a bath….which is also MY job. She’s all up in here stealing my job. Needless to say, when Jack woke up last night around 11pm and started crying, whilst I normally would have waited a while longer and hoped he would go back to sleep, I might have been a little too eager to tell Andy to go get him and bring him down.
So that made up for it. And honestly I don’t mean to sound like a selfish teenager. I am so glad that my MIL can come and see Jack. I know this is so special for her. But there is still a part of me that is like ‘Bitch give me back my baby!’.