I woke up to Aunt Flo. It has been over two years since the last time this lady came for a visit. Pretty crazy right? I had almost forgotten I had a vajayjay until this morning….alright well I remembered I had a vajayjay, but forgot that she did tricks….gross tricks, but still.
I finally broke open one of the two jumbo boxes of tampons that silly me bought a couple of months after Jack was born thinking I might need them….tampons don’t expire right? Let’s hope not. I opened the box to find a bonus little pink and yellow tampon carrying case. SCORE for me!
Sure I probably didn’t need to shove 20 in there, but it was sort of like when I first started my period…you know….5 years ago when I was a teen…I have forgotten how this shit goes. Do I need 14 a day? I can’t remember…..I started wondering how I was going to smuggle them past my 4 male co-workers to get to the bathroom. Or should I celebrate it? ‘Nothing to see here! Just having my PERIOD!!!! No big deal, happens all the time’. Well except that obviously it doesn’t.
Which kind of makes this a celebration right? Like a “YAY Natalie seems to maybe work” celebration. The downside being obviously no one will really understand the idea of celebrating this. grrr. Why can’t you dudes all live next door (yep, in one house, that would be super convenient for me) then we could have like a big red tent party (if you haven’t read “The Red Tent”, do it!). Only our’s would be way cooler because we’d be sipping on margaritas and eating lots of delicious foods that we’re not supposed to have. Also fuck the tent, we’d be at a spa in the A/C getting a mani and pedi. Ahhh sounds delightful.
Obviously I am sure you are on the edges of your seats, but I will definitely be letting you know whether AF will be a regular visitor or return to her sporadic and absentee ways. Let’s hope for the former. Wow….it is weird….I feel like a functional woman.