Because I don’t like to keep things serious for long. When in doubt turn to one of your best girlfriends.
Natalie: so I am pretty nervous about my professional ting tang waxing. I have had it waxed, but by a friend who waxes….so I am nervous, but then not as nervous as I probably would have been before having Jack….since ya know everyone has seen my ting tang now
Oak: She sees so many yours won’t be anything special… No offense.
yeah but do I like try to have a conversation with her?
what do we talk about?
Oak: I mean I assume there’s nothing highly remarkable about it like its green or shaped like a cornucopia
Yes. You just chat.
Natalie: shows what you know. it is highly remarkable
do I take off all my clothes or just my pants?
it would be weird to be completely naked right?
Oak: Like you’re having coffee but with your vag out. Just pants and undies.
Natalie: I almost peed just now
shoes and socks?
Oak: That might be weird. Avoid that.
I take off my shoes and socks.
Natalie: because it would be weird to be pantsless with shoes and socks on
Natalie: man I bet you wish you were going to be filming this
Oak: Here I am with my pumps and my … Blouse.
Natalie: I buzzed my bush down last night and got all crazy and cut my clit….oh dear I am just a mess
Oak: Dude. You trimmed before a waxing?? How amazon had you gone???
Natalie: well I am hoping I didn’t cut too much off……I dunno. It was actually kind of ridiculous because the top portion wasn’t too long, but I bent over and looked and was like ‘WTF?????’ the underregions got a little out of hand
Oak: Take Advil before … Takes the edge off. Also it needs to be 1/4 inch
Natalie: okay cool. I think it is long enough…hopefully
do they like turn you away if it is too short
Oak: Mine’s usually long enough to braid though.
Oak: No. It’s just not as good a wax.
Natalie: with a brazillian do they do your ass crack?
or do you have to ask for your ass crack?
It just seems weird not to do my ass. I mean to have a clean front and a hairy back. but is ass-crack separate from brazillian?
ugh I am so dumb
and I can’t google brazillian wax at work
Oak: Depends on the waxer. I usually say take everything but a strip and then motion that the whole undercarriage needs up keep
they should either ask or do it out of process.
Some make you flip and put your ass in the air but most just make you hike your leg.
Natalie: like tabletop position?
Oak: And yes. A hairy asshole negates a clean labia.
Natalie: hike my leg? like I am a dog and she is a fire hydrant?
Oak: Like “face down ass up” child’s pose.
Natalie: nice. yoga + waxing
like shocking yoga
Oak: Totes. Just remember like I said – peeing on her is frowned upon.
Natalie: I will really try not to.
they should make like tampons for your pee hole.
so you can put them in when it would seriously be a bad situation to pee
Oak: I cant wait to impart this wisdom on my daughter someday.