Beer a substitute for Advil? You be the Judge

I figured I was the last woman on earth to not have my vajay professional waxed by a stranger, but turns out there are others with the same curiosities as what came out of my mouth with Oak the other day. A few of you actually asked for a post-event recap.

So here it is: turns out Oak is quite right, it was like having coffee with a friend just with your vag out. Things actually got a bit freaky coincidental, but I will get to that in a minute. First a break down of the waxing experience itself.

First off, Oak recommended that I take an advil before hand to help take the edge off. Well in all my distraction I forgot to grab two advil before I met up with my dad for lunch…you know because there is nothing like lunch with dad before showing your vag to a stranger. I am so thankful that when I told him I had an “appointment” he didn’t ask any questions, or offer to walk me there. Whew. Although I guess I could have just told him I was getting my eyebrows done…..I probably wouldn’t have though. Knowing my mouth it would have come out.

Anyway, when we sat down to lunch I decided a beer was in order since I forgot the advil. Now although my brain was feeling pretty good, I don’t think the beer helped take the edge off the wax. I don’t have the advil scenario to compare it to, but I will report back when I do.

I was about 8 blocks from the waxing studio so decided to walk and then halfway there was like ‘ooo, what if my vag is all stinky now from walking here?’ It was too late by that point. I got into the room with Destinee….which turned out to be destiny indeed…and she said she would walk me through everything step-by-step but first, pants off.

I guess I am thankful to have some previous ting tang waxing experience because the beginning was not bad at all. Apparently even though it had been about 6 years since anyone else had waxed that area, the top front didn’t bother me at all. The worst part is definitely the crack…..the crack can just go eff itself. It is an absolute sonovabeetch and I hate it for the pain it caused me on Friday….sure you could blame me for deciding to wax it, but instead I choose to blame it for deciding to be hairy.

Destinee did not make me do the naked child’s pose. Basically I just laid on my back with my legs in a diamond configuration….feet together, knees out. Then flipped over and spread eagled for the ass crack….Brazillians do include the ass crack FYI.

Meanwhile Destinee and I tried to carry on a conversation. She is halfway through her business degree. She wants to open her own spa someday. Then things got strangely coincidental. When the discussion turned to why on earth I would let someone rip hair out of my privates, I told her it was a special treat for our anniversary. Then we talked about kids. I was surprised she asked if we had any considering she was staring at my collection of stretch marks. Sure they are lighter, but what else causes that sort of stomach-stretch-mark configuration?…..I guess maybe there are other things that I don’t know about and someone who sees a lot of vaginas would? I dunno.

We started talking about kids and she has been with her boyfriend for 5 years. I asked if they wanted kids and she said ‘we do. Actually I am kind of worried because we had planned to wait until our 30s but I just had an appointment with my doctor and she thinks I have…, oh what is it called…POS’. My mouth almost dropped. “PCOS?”…”yeah is that what it is?”.

All of a sudden I was switching between talking fertility with this girl and wincing as she ripped hair out of my no-nos. It was wild and definitely destiny. I told her about our story. Turns out her natural period is very much the same as mine. Having never actually gone in for an u/s to determine if I have PCOS, I couldn’t say for sure, but she said it made her feel so much better knowing that she could still get pregnant. She was starting to think it wasn’t a possibility. I told her about all my friends who have struggled and that there is actually a huge community of women out there who have to go through extra steps, but that there is hope.

I told her about Taking Control of Your Fertility and how we pretty much all started there. I walked through the signs for progesterone deficiencies and lining issues, etc. and told her how the book can give you a glimpse of what might be wrong. Her doc has done a u/s to confirm PCOS, so she is basically in the same boat as me. I told her about temping and how my chart looked compared to what it should look like. She was so interested in it all and kept asking questions. The relief in her voice was palpable after our conversation. And I just realized I got more out of that wax than just a naked ting tang, I made a connection with another one of us.

Perhaps if all that hadn’t happened I would never have done this, but I made another appointment. Mainly because after going through all that once, I am definitely keeping this shit up. It definitely feels nice after and a certain someone showed his appreciation for the effort…ahem. But mostly I wanted to check in on her. Find out if she checked out the book, if she had any other questions, and if she needs other info. Because obviously you ladies have experience and information up the ting tang that a girl like her could use.

She asked me for advice and now I am not so sure if my answer was right. She asked if I thought she should start trying at 25 instead. Her doctor recommended they start at 28 instead of waiting until 30. I told her if she was really worried about it then yes. But if she wanted to wait a couple more years and finish her degree first, then she shouldn’t feel rushed into it. I know some of you will probably freak out at this advice. I know some of you would probably tell her start trying right now. And maybe that was the right thing to say. But there was still this part of me that thinks it would be more harmful for her to panic and get pregnant now than to wait until she is done with her undergrad and has a husband instead of a boyfriend. I told her that it might take a while. She might have to try for a couple of years and she might have to use some drugs/procedures to help, but there truly is something to be said about having your relationship in the right place before tackling infertility.

Can you all imagine not having a strong relationship with your partner before you went down this road? Almost all of us have experienced the lows that IF can take us to. I know if Andy and I weren’t as high as we were, the lows might have broken us. I am not sure if what I told her was right. Because as I was walking back to my car I started thinking if someone had talked to me 6 years ago and told me about this struggle, what I would want to hear?…..maybe I would have wanted someone to tell me ‘get pregnant NOW!!!’ But honestly I waver back and forth. I guess if someone had said ‘listen it might take a couple of years and you might need some help’ maybe that would have been enough. What do you guys think? What would you want to hear?

I see Destinee again in 4 weeks. Her and my ting tang will battle it out again. So I will be able to check in with her and see where she’s at.

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7 thoughts on “Beer a substitute for Advil? You be the Judge

  1. This waxing business seriously sounds like the most awkward thing ever!! I feel sorry for my husband, because I think he’s just gonna have to deal with my own shaving ability the rest of his life unless I work up enough courage to get this done. I think it’s great you were distracted with giving advice about IF though. Whatever works, right? I totally agree your relationship needs to be at the top of its game before even thinking about going down IF hell.

  2. I do think that starting at 28 instead of 30 is good advice… egg quality issues can be super detrimental, and that only gets worse with age. I definitely don’t think starting at 25 when she has so much else is a good idea though. I think you handled it well!

    I bartended a wedding on Saturday night for the first time since having Stella, and the girl I was working with ended up telling me about her TTC struggles (she’s now 36). It’s amazing how many people struggle with it.

  3. There will be no waxing of my lady garden. No sir. But I’ve enjoyed the little peek into what goes on!

    I am so grateful to my regular gyn for telling me, when I told her we were going to start trying, “get a referral after you’ve been trying for 8 months” (because I was 32 at the time). It meant I got to skip the whole “is something wrong? should I seek help?” phase that a lot of women go through. If I’d wasted another year hemming and hawing and wondering if it was appropriate to ask for help…well, it would have been another year before I got to have all the babies. So I think you did great. What else would I have liked to hear? “Here’s the stirrup queen’s blogroll. Start clicking.”

  4. Look at you- helping someone while getting waxed! I think you gave her good advice and info. And after reading this I feel less scared to get waxed (if I ever do).

  5. Isn’t it crazy how you meet people with IF?? Its like something that no one talks about, but if you say it, you get to find out how many people its affected. Its actually made talking about it tons easier!

  6. Pingback: A Second Date with Destinee | pajamasarecomfy

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