I am Like La.nce Armst.rong….only with one less ball

So the battle of the muffin top rages on in these parts. I am happy to report that I have traded muffin top for love handles and am now wearing the majority of my pants. With billowy tops as not to emphasize my love handles, but let’s not count that part okay? Woohoo! It is a small step for man and what not, but it is a step forward none-the-less.

As I am hoping you will not recall…..because I did not make that goal one bit…I had the intention of getting to my goal (aka. all pants without chub protrusions) a long time ago….let’s just not talk about that goal okay? Let’s pretend it didn’t get set.

It isn’t like I didn’t try. I did 2 months of going to the gym 3-4 times a week, then I signed up for a boot camp, so went to boot camp 3 days a week and the gym 2 days….not as big of a difference as I expected. So then I did a month of hot yoga 3 times a week and the gym 3 times a week. Seriously body?

In my body’s defense there are some serious muscles underneath this chub…..now we just have to get to them. So my 6 month gym membership is coming to an end in a couple of weeks. I am sort of reluctant to renew just yet, as I am uncertain if I will still be in this office or potentially a new place (fingers crossed). Obvi current gym is 2 blocks from the office. BTW that is the way to go people. I work out for an hour during my lunch break. It eliminates the guilt of taking more time away from Jack to work out, but I still get my activity in.

Anyway long story short (sorry Oak) I am going back to what worked 2 years ago….you guessed it, riding my bike. Next week is Bike to Work day in Colorado so this morning I decided it was time to verify which route I will be taking, that my bike is still in good working order for a long ride, and to see if we can’t shave off those love handles once and for all…..well maybe not for all, we are talking about a second pregnancy eventually.

So today is the day. I am feeling just like I am about to start the tour de france, like Lan.ce Arm.strong minus his other testicle….and you know some of his muscles and what not. My ride today is only about 22 miles as opposed to however many miles the tour is, but I am sure the citizens of Colorado will be lining up to cheer me on and wave my flag and run out in the street and almost trip me…hopefully not the last one.

Next week I am going to attempt the whole 44….yikes. I am scared folks. If you happen to be in the area you will find me riding under an “Indiana” jersey….why Indiana? Have you been there Natalie? Does your family live there? Nope. My butter gave me the jersey and I was like ‘cool it’s red’….that is all it takes folks. I will probably be going too fast for you to actually read the word “Indiana” though. What what Lan.ce? (arms outstretched, head slightly tilted)




9 thoughts on “I am Like La.nce Armst.rong….only with one less ball

  1. 22 miles?? Is that one-way? I would be drenched with sweat by the time I got to work and I don’t sweat! A few people at my office ride their bikes (one less than a mile and the other about 3 miles). They also go for walks on breaks and I’ve gone on occasion but hate getting all hot in work clothes. I need to get with it though b/c I’m being left behind all you fitness people who are showing me up! I’ll be your cheering section, that I know how to do. 🙂

    • Yeah Steph it is 22 miles one way. It is pretty extreme, but luckily it is a fun ride….I am not sure how fun it will be riding TO work at 6am, but the ride home is usually really nice.

  2. Ok best blog title ever. For reals.
    I’m in awe because:
    a. I don’t even know how to ride a bike
    b. I don’t have a baby and I can’t bring myself to work out even one day a week.
    To quote Kevin Smith: That’s a big bucket of win right there.

  3. I love you. This was hilarious! And seriously? 22 miles? Crap, that makes me tired just thinking about it! Good luck! I would be out there cheering you on but I’d probably end up being the one to go to far and trip you. Instead, I’ll stay safely in your computer and cheer for here. Good?

  4. Wow, I might right my bike to work, but it’s 3/4 mile one way. Not the same as your undertaking whatsoever. 🙂

    I wish I had traded my muffin top for love handles. Not yet. So far I seem to be going backwards lately. UGH!!

  5. The very idea makes me want to vomit. I can feel the burning lungs, the searning leg muscles. I can’t imagine those love handles are going to survive the first ride, you bad ass!

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