Jack – A pirate of restfulness

Oak’s most recent post reminded me that I have things easy when it comes to the exhaustion department….and by easy I mean, I am fucking worn out, but not as worn out as her. Basically I am so thankful to be at work and get some “quiet time” – Do any other working mom’s feel like this? – if only my job was to nap….are there jobs like that?

Don’t get up in arms SAHMs I miss my little man a lot and realize that you guys get the benefits of seeing every single step of their lives and what not, but every once in a while I am thankful to go to work.

Speaking of, I should buy my daycare provider a mercedes or something. That woman is a saint….not because of Jack. Jack is obviously the best behaved, well-mannered kid ever….ahem…but because she not only has Jack, but 7 other little ones as well…..can you dudes imagine having 8 little kids in your house at one time running around? I sure can’t. That sounds like a nightmare.

What’s even more amazing is that when I pick Jack up she is all calm and relaxed. Her hair isn’t like frizzed out in all directions and her clothes a mess. She doesn’t have pee and/or poop all over her and she isn’t like meeting me at the curb with Jack in her arms and tears streaming down her face….how do women like that do it? I would be a mess. That is for sure.

With Andy working nights, I do a bit of the single parenting thing…..don’t get me wrong it is NOT AT ALL as rough as actual single-parenting. You dudes are amazeballs that manage that. Saturday Andy went in at 5pm and within the next two hours Jack managed to get into an insane amount of trouble.

It was like he got into the Christmas cocaine or something, he was all over the place.

  • I turned around for a nano-second, and when I looked back he had my SIL’s deotorant, sans cap, in his mouth with bits all over his lap. I grabbed it from him and found teeth marks all over it…..how can they do that so quickly? I was literally sitting 3 feet away from him. Yucky deotorant taste in your mouth = crying.
  • I bought these metal racks, they aren’t too big, but they seemed too heavy for a 15 month old….nope apparently not. Despite stacking them between a chair and the wall for safety from him, he managed to crawl back there, lift up the stack and drop it on his toes. Smashed toes = crying.
  • My SIL was drinking an IZZE, the tiny ones in the metal can, and quick as a whip Jack picked it up off the coffee table, tilted his head back and dumped it all over his face and up his nose…..oh and on my freshly mopped floors. Fizz up a baby’s nose = crying.
  • As I was coming back from grabbing a paper towel to wipe up the mess, he slipped on it and bashed his head. Head bashing = crying.
  • He got a hold of a picture frame and figured out how to take it apart. I look over and he is carrying around the glass by itself. Me = heart attack…..he = thinks this is funny.
  • As I was making his dinner he was standing on the baby gate…as per usual….then all of a sudden he started to get fussy….I realized he had wrapped his arm like a zig zag through three rungs and was stuck.

When I finally put him down in his crib I breathed a sigh of relief that he would most likely not cause as much trouble in there and I could finally relax after a lot of jumping, running and comforting. Whew! Dudes I think this road is getting bumpy….who am I kidding though? It is definitely awesome.

Trouble? Who me? Nooo


7 thoughts on “Jack – A pirate of restfulness

  1. Dude! I am so grateful for my time at work. I’m a better mom *because* I work! If I had to be at home all day with my kids we wouldn’t all be alive after about 2 weeks. (I’m not certain who the survivors would be, but most likely not me.) I love my kids to death but I have the patience of a spoon and we all get along better and savor the time together when it comes in short intervals. Maybe that makes me a bad parent but it works for us. I have a friend who is a SAHM and babysits too. She also doesn’t stand at the curb crying. She is amazing, and my life wouldn’t be possible if it weren’t for people like her. I’m just glad I’m not her.

    I love that Jack got his hand stuck zig zag through the bars! As I say about Babe, the only thing keeping her alive is her unbearable cuteness! God knew what he was doing when he made kids cute!

  2. I actually just wrote a blog post about the same thing last week. Coming back to work after my maternity leave was haaaaarrrddddd and I miss my kid so much. But at the same time, I also love my job and love being here. There’s a tad bit (ok a lot) of guilt on both ends, and I’m constantly conflicted as to what exactly is the right emotion to be feeling. I’ve decided that there really isn’t one. We do what’s best for our families and our individual circumstances! And really, that’s all that matters!

  3. After moving to a new state where I know no one and being a SAHM for 8 months I totally miss work, I never thought I would say that. There are good things about staying at home but there are days I feel like I’m losing my sanity….
    Jack is the cutest.

  4. Maggie is in the same getting into everything and making me insane hurting herself all the time stage! I felt like a bad mom at first, but I can’t follow her around every single step. I am enjoying the SAHM thing right now, but totally know what you mean about enjoying the quiet time at work!

  5. I am so totally right there with you…. I’m in Hawaii on business now (yes, you can hate me, but I promise it hasn’t been all that great….posts are coming soon, I hope!) and have another week to go….and I can’t come CLOSE to explaining how much I miss the Little Man. I heard how he gashed his face with his toy hammer (wooden) and let’s face it, it’s 100%impossible that my husband was able to console my kid. I just can’t come to grips with the fact that anyone other than me is there to kiss his owie. Oh….and my MIL is there. In my house. When I’m not there. Messing in my kitchen. Going thorough my stuff. Ironing my husband’s shirts. And despite the fact that even I do not iron my husband’s shirts, I can’t stand the fact that she is. Why am I so crazy? At the same time one part of me hopes against hope that she’ll Scrubby Dutch deep clean my whole house before I get home on Saturday, the other part of me is screaming “Keep your hands off my Hoover!”

    • Hahah this is hilarious! I felt the exact same way when my MIL was upstairs and I was trapped downstairs post-partum….she did deep clean and it looked amazing…good thing our sex toys were safetly under my control.

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