Happy/Achy Heart: “Ball”

It seems like Jack is learning a new word every day. It is just amazing watching him turn from a baby to a little boy. As every parent will tell you at this stage, I just want the time to slow down, yet I find myself so amazed and excited at each passing day to see the development and growth. His understanding of the world is so much greater than I ever could have imagined a 1-year-old to have. This is definitely the copycat stage. If I am stirring a pot on the stove, he wants to have a spoon and to be held so he can stir the pot as well. If I am sweeping the floor, he wants the broom right after so he can sweep the floor as well…..wait maybe he is making an asshole statement about my housekeeping come to think of it?

He will stand next to me as I water the sad excuse for a vegetable garden (more on that later, but basically 100+ degrees = mostly dead veggies) and then I need to hand him the water cup so he can pour water….well mostly all over himself, but he tries. Anyway, basically this is all to say that he amazes me. I am trying to soak every second of this up. For the first time in my life I wish I was on a realty show, just to have a camera crew around to capture everything he does so I can look back on it someday.

With all the things Jack is starting to say regularly, “Ball” is definitely his favorite. It is his go-to word. The other day I went in to wake him up from a 3 1/2 hour nap and he popped up and was like ‘Ball! Ball! Ball!’. Like he was saying ‘good you’re here now where the hell is a ball?’…..perhaps “Ball” is code for drugs? Not sure. Kids these days, I tell ya what.

Jack’s uncle, my Big Butter, had a same affinity for the word “Ball”. My mom said he would point at absolutely everything that was round and shout “Ball”. As you can imagine, this knowledge is both heartwarming and heart wrenching all at the same time. On the one had it makes me miss my mom so much. It makes me literally tear up and crave her to be here, to be experiencing this little human alongside me. But on the other hand, it sort of feels like a connection to her.

The way I am feeling is maybe how she was feeling when Butter was this age. I can picture her in my mind, doing the same things I am doing, having the same thoughts, smiling at the same things, watching our babies so closely and being so amazed by them. So while we are apart….it sort of feels like we’re together to.

Mother-effer! Now I am crying.

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9 thoughts on “Happy/Achy Heart: “Ball”

  1. Now you made me cry! I think about my mom all the time. My dad says Emily is just like me so I look up and say, how did you deal with this!! Hugs to you.

  2. Aww, sweet girl…I think about my mom all the time too, and almost always get teary when I look at Chloe and think about how much my mom is missing out on. I’m just glad you have so many memories and years spent with your mom that you are able to recall things like that and put a positive spin on it, that that is her way of connecting with you and Jack. I love the idea of being on a reality show, to document everything this little guys do since it seems to change daily!!

  3. Not having her by your side right now just sucks, tat is just all there is to it. I think about you and your mom all the time, but for sure I’ve thought about you and her a ton this week as I go back to work. I always picture you to be this copy cat version of your mom. I imagine that you are just full of all her best qualities. I suspect I’m right on the money. I love ya girlie.

  4. I know the feeling! They grow up so fast! Sometimes when I get annoyed that S is trying to push the buttons on the computer as I try to crank out a blog post, or when I’m trying to fold laundry and he unfolds each thing, or when I’m just trying to relax and he comes and crawls in to my lap… I have to remind myself that these moments are fleeting and I should savor each one. It won’t be long and he won’t want to be in the same room as me….. Sigh….

  5. Aw Nat, what a beautiful post. I know your mom is always with you, laughing, crying, and admiring Jack. And I especially know she is beyond proud of you. Love you!

  6. Damn it Nat! I was all snorty lol at the ball comment and even read it to Liam who also laughed. Then you pulled a 180 on me and made me cry. Sorry you miss your mommy. 😦

  7. I miss your mommy too! I know she gives you gifts every day through little Jack. Cadence does the same thing only she says “bubbles!!” Anything circular, polka dotted, or even slightly roundish is a bubble. And she knows where I have hidden every last bottle of bubbles from our stash, and she points to each hiding place and signs “please” while she says “BUBBLES!!!!!!” It’s a very loud and excited proclamation every time she says the word. I love it.

  8. What the crap!? How did I not know you moved to WP and why am I not following you here already!??!?!? Sheesh! Well, i found you so that’s all that matters. 🙂 Missed ya! I love reading this! I think 1-2 is the best year ever!

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