Guess what self-centered high-and-mighty bitch decided to finally grace us with her presence? That’s riiiggghhhttt old auntie flow decided she was ready to take a break from her two month-long gambling binger. I am picturing her face down in a pool of drool on some seedy hotel floor in Reno or something…..my aunt flow is a saucy one.
The fun thing about unpredictable cycles (which could also be rewritten: the not fun thing about…) is that you often wake up to a mass murder scene and are like ‘oh shit! someone killed me!’. Even after 9 years of marriage it is super embarrassing to have to hide this sort of thing. I am like making my side of the bed while Andy is still in it…Hmm hmmm hmm, nothing to see here, I just really feel like making my side of the bed today.
What is even worse is the soaking of your undies in the bathroom sink scene. God women are so sexy, it is no wonder men are knocking down our doors and constantly enamored by our gloriousness.
So I guess the bad news is: I am not pregnant, but the okay news is: I am not pregnant. Conundrum no? As sucky as it is to realize things didn’t go as I had hoped, at the same time with interview no. 3 tomorrow (oh please go my way), there is a part of me that sees the bright side of this coin. I know it is 2012, but pretty sure it is still sort of frowned upon to show up and be like ‘listen I know I am going to miss 3 months out of my first year here, but I am awesome and totally worth it, so let’s get this show on the road!’. I was definitely prepared to do it, because hello? babies are so hard to come by in this here uterus, but it definitely added another factor to my nerves.
So I guess this AF sitch isn’t all that terrible. The other bright side is, hey! we have a 55 day cycle. Which is pretty effing close to the 57 day cycles I was getting after being stabbed by medically sanitized needles a few years ago. So I am all about it if my cycles want to be and stay this length. Sure a 28 day cycle would be amazing, but just having some predictability is all I could ever dream of. I was bracing myself for the dreaded 200 day cycle so despite waking up to the horror scene yesterday morning, I was like ‘fuck yeah 55 day cycle! you rock reproductive system! (high-five)’…..how do you high-five your reproductive system, one might ask? It looks a lot like smacking your belly, but the ovaries love it, so give it a try.