Ze Dream Job Update: I called last night after work and spoke with a nice lady who said boss-guy wasn’t in the office that day. So “Hopeful Natalie” has decided that he hasn’t been able to get back to me because he had to immediately rush off to secure the new project we discussed and as soon as he gets back in, he will have an amazing offer to hand off to me. Thank you all for being here while I go through this purgatory of waiting it out. I KNOW it will be worth it in the long run, but damn waiting sure as hell sucks ass. And this feels like an extra big test of patience….I have patience, but THIS much patience is just borderline ridunkulous.
A much delayed visit from AF last week had me contemplating new things about myself. Isn’t it wonderful when you learn new things about yourself? It is like a constant adventure – this life business.
Now I don’t get the pleasure of using feminine products very often…my loss, I know. In fact, I teased myself a while back for buying two jumbo boxes of tampons when there was a good deal on them because they proceeded to sit in the linen closet for almost 6 months (yes I tease myself…it is fun, don’t judge). But, when the opportunity finally arose, let me tell you, those puppies were like the Cadillac of tampons.
In cycles past I have just done the economical/environmental thing and bought the generic cardboard applicator tampon. But this sale just couldn’t be resisted and these jumbo packs were the sleek, smooth plastic applicator kind…..let me tell you my vajay was in heaven.
All of a sudden we had a coup on our hands. The rest of me was like ‘wow this will take 84 million years to decompose in the landfill’ and the vajay was like ‘who fucking cares? burn the earth to the ground! we are never using anything except for these amazing tampons!!!!’.
She is an evil bitch that vajay. No seriously, she will probably kill us all. As I neared the end of my second AF visit I had finally come to the end of a jumbo pack…oh and since I was so busy making fun of myself I ended up giving the second box to my SIL….fucking shit was my vajay pissed when she realized we could have had two Cadillac jumbo packs!
Now you should know that I take all my tampons out of their box and stuff them into an awesome vintage tin jar….like the kind you used to put coffee, sugar, etc on your kitchen counter, I stuff ‘pons in them because it is pretty. Anyway, there was a mixture of hippie ‘pons and kill-the-planet ‘pons, and so I would alternate between them and let me tell ya, it was like the vajay was physically rejecting the hippie ‘pons.
During pit stops I noticed the hippie ‘pons were making an exit…in the southward direction. Bitch was literally refusing to work with the hippie ‘pons. Long story short….now I know for certain my vajay is not a hippie….and pretty sure she will not cooperate until I go and purchase another box of kill-the-planet tampons.