We Be Baking!

To keep with the theme of domestic chat, I thought I would tell you about a recent baking endeavor. First off, you should know I rarely bake……RARELY! Mainly because baking is a dangerous sport. Andy doesn’t eat pastries, cookies, cakes, breads,…..pretty much anything delicious that you would bake. So needless to say, if I bake something it is with full knowledge that it will go directly to my own ass, I can’t even try to convince myself that my husband ate half of a batch of goodies….therefore, I don’t bake much.

This is usually painfully apparent by the fact that it takes me a good 5 minutes to locate my muffin pans….and the fact that one of them will be in the broiler drawer and the other one will be in the back of that cabinet I never go into. You’d think I would look there first, but I don’t.

Anyhoodles, so I bought a giant box of blueberries at the grocery store because it was an awesome deal…then I realized we weren’t going to eat it fast enough, so the only solution was blueberry muffins….sure there are other blueberry items, but let’s just pretend muffins are the only solution mmkay?

I bought some whole wheat flour because if some of these muffins were going into my ass, they were going to be taking whole grains with them. Now the thing about whole wheat flour is it literally make things taste healthy…..which kind of sucks….white flour blueberry muffins obviously are borderline cupcakes, wheat flour blueberry muffins are like ‘hmmm I guess these are okay…..sort of’.

Here’s how I bake – I set my shit up like I am on a cooking show…then I pour a glass of wine. I make sure that I read the recipe before I start drinking my wine, then I drink a glass of wine, then I re-read the recipe as I refill my glass of wine….basically the whole process revolves around the glass of wine.

Once we are on the second glass of wine, we begin making the muffins.

Muffins are pretty fucking straight forward, I use my BH&G cook book and spoon the batter into the cups, drink some more wine, yada yada yada. Some time later, voila! Muffins!

Now we get to the part I really want you to see – this is what differentiates cooking with Natalie as opposed to cooking with, let’s say Martha Stewart. You may have noticed a stack of DVDs over by my mixer and thought ‘hmm I wonder what those dvd’s are?’ Perhaps a Rom-Com? Perhaps a Period Piece (obvi one of my favsie kind of movie)…..

Let me say that this particular stack of DVDs belongs to my husband….and the one on the top, which took me a while to really look at was this one:

Hmmm……of course. That is of course what is on our counter while I am making whole wheat blueberry muffins and drinking too much wine. Don’t you have a copy of this DVD?

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3 thoughts on “We Be Baking!

  1. I use half white flour and half whole wheat flour… that way it’s healthier but doesn’t taste quite so healthy. It’s an excellent arrangement if I do say so myself!

  2. I’m just glad you didn’t have to refer to that DVD anytime during your muffin foray! But really, shouldn’t that DVD be in the bathroom? Just seems more like toilet reading material than blueberry muffin reading materials. But alas, that’s probably like trying to get husbands to put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher instead of next to it. And really, that’s a whole other post.

    (Please be advised that I am aware one doesn’t “read” a DVD, but the chances of you having a TV with DVD watching capability in your bathroom is unlikely…although it would be SUPER AWESOME and I would come visit you immediately!)

    Good for you being all healthy! (And safe!)

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