In Which I am Hilarious Once More

This shall be the post in which I will be hilarious and recover from my fucking nightmare of a post yesterday. Alright well I can’t really promise this will be hilarious….mostly I will probably just talk about random shit, which is what I do best. I hate being a downer though. I don’t need it, you don’t need it. So upwards.

You know what the upside if being on your period before you go on a big trip for the weekend?….yeah me either….oh wait here’s one! If I run out of feminine products, I will have Jack’s diapers as a backup. Now I know you evil bitches are all going to be hoping that I run out and have to come back to tell you my “the time I altered a size 3 diaper into a feminine napkin” story. I would be thinking the same thing if I were you.

Anyone want to make fun of me? Okay I do to. Let’s go:

So I scheduled a massage a couple of weeks ago. And despite remembering this fact just 16 hours ago, apparently I forgot about it this morning when I had the genius idea that today would be a great “riding the bus” day. My appointment reminder went off. I stood up. Went to grab my purse and then the giant “whhaa whhaaa whaaaa” went off in my head.

How you going to get there genius? Wow being a chick is super awesome. It doesn’t matter how brilliant you are (not that I am claiming to be brilliant here) we still all seem to have those moments when we space shit out completely.

I blame it on the fact that we have about seven billion things going on at once. I mean seriously no one juggles tasks like chicks. We have so much going on. And if you are anything like me, I am also a huge planner. I like to have shit planned out waaaayyy in advance. Like if I could get a decent price on a plane ticket I would book shit two years in advance. The fact that some airlines don’t open their booking window more than like 9 months in advance drives me bonkers. How can I plan my trip in 2014 properly if I can’t see the flight schedule? Seriously I know my brain needs a break.

And since it doesn’t get a break…sometimes it just puts on the brakes instead and is like ‘you know what would be funny? let’s fuck with Natalie!’. Thus the bus riding.

Is anyone else witnessing an epic battle between your friends on FB over this political crap? Mine is sort of a unknown battle. It is actually just friends of mine who don’t know each other are posting contrasting opinions about everything going on. I am just sort of bored by politics in general. It seems to be an utter waste of my time to even look at the headlines these days. I am not shocked that politicians say and do stupid things. They are mostly men after all…and as previously discussed men can not multi-task. Anyway I am bored by politics and I am bored by people talking about it on FB. I guess mostly because I have gotten to the point in life where everyone I know is set in their ways.

Wouldn’t you say you already know where you stand on every issue there is to talk about? Would you say that someone’s FB post status could change your ideals? That is about where I am at. So maybe it is the fact that I am “surfing the crimson tide” or maybe I am just tired of people thinking they are actually making any headway, but part of me just wants to go crazy on FB.

I want to just take the opposite side on every political post and say something smart-assed…I think it would be pretty awesome…you know except that some of those people are my great-aunts and uncles and there is that whole “respect your elders” clause. I think if I ever do decide it is time to be done with the FB though then I will go out with a bang. Andy once signed on while he was drunk and posted some seriously hilarious shit. And I sort of love him more for it.

A friend from high school posted “I love my wife” and Andy commented “where does she keep your balls?” There is just something awesome about it. I need to get me some liquid courage going and release the hounds.

I hope you all have an excellent Labor Day. I am going to buy myself a pair of rain boots and splash my way through a fantastic time with my SIL and Jack. Apparently it will be quite rainy in Chi-town this weekend, but I am armed with an “indoor” activities list…plus soon I will have a ridiculously cute pair of boots and rain is just more fun with cute boots.


One thought on “In Which I am Hilarious Once More

  1. I like you on your crimson tide! Perhaps you should tell your body to do it more often. You know, because that works.

    Have fun in Chi-town!!!!!!!

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