If Aunt Flo Were Real

I have been thinking about this phenomenon of naming our menstrual cycles Aunt Flo. What if Aunt Flo were a real person? First off, bitch would have to seriously watch out because I know at least a handful of you who would be ready to stab her..namely me.

The term “Aunt Flo” must have been like a cutesy endearing term that someone decided back in the Sock Hop days, so you could code talk with the other Pink Ladies about your monthly biznaz.

I think I should rename mine “J.R.”. J.R. are the initials of this dude in my undergraduate program. He RARELY came to class (see the resemblance there) when he did he was totally unprepared to discuss the relevant topic of the day (like my lady biznaz is all ‘what? oh sorry…you were waiting for me to say something?’), instead he would use the power of distraction to try to get the professor to soften their “stab you in the face if I wasn’t your professor” look:

Professor: Hey J.R. what did you think about the reading from last night?

J.R.: hmmm….well I liked it, after I read it I went to Taco Bell, have you seen this new burrito they have there? OMG it is off the hook!

Professor: (I am going to stab you in the face!) hmmm…..alright someone else?

Pretty on par with my lady bits.

So where are we? Um no where. Ahhhhh well whatcha gonna do?

I do think it is pretty hilarious that prior to getting pregnant last time I was on the cycle from hell (aka the 200 day cycle), then started acupuncture and herbs and got them down to 57 day cycles. This time I was having 43 day cycles and then started acupuncture to then have a….well I suppose I don’t know what the result of this will be.

I have another appointment on Tuesday, so I think I will ask her what my options are for ramping this business up. She thought we were in a much better place this time, so we are on a two week rotation instead of once a week. I am thinking it is time for a once a week sort of arrangement again.

I have decided that I need to temp again…but there is no use in starting that right now. So I will pick that up when/if AF shows up.

As for the last post….sorry about that. It is just a huge frustration to be working as hard as I am and see no progress. But I admittedly need to monitor my food intake. So that’s what I am doing. YAY for my fitness pal!…..actually she can suck it too…her and Aunt Flo.

Counting calories is totally dumb. I just want to eat some yummy foods and drink delicious beverages and be a skinny bitch like my friends…whores! HAHAH. But I guess we all can’t be that girl right? Some of us have to be the chubby ones. Alright alright…the middle ones.

The suckiest part of counting calories is you have to make the decision of whether you want to eat food or if you want to get drunk. There is no “both” in this scenario…. and if it were enough calories to get so drunk that I could forget I was hungry that would be one thing. But I know if I choose drinking over dinner I will start getting tipsy and then be like ‘you know what’s a great idea?….let’s eat a gallon of ice cream and some french fries!!!’. So I guess that means I have to choose food over booze…..what a sad week this has been. Bahhaaaa

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3 thoughts on “If Aunt Flo Were Real

  1. Pingback: I am Here | pajamasarecomfy

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