I am Here

In yoga the other night the instructor reminded us that this is the time of year that everyone is looking to the future: _ days until Christmas, _ days until the new year, _ days until _…..she reminded us that there was still an entire half a month of this year left to live and that we should all be sure to be in the moment, enjoy this….enjoy and appreciate the now.

I like yoga instructors…they can be all inspirational and use that calm soothing voice, often times it coincides with one of those poses where you just want to die and if her jugular was close enough to your mouth, you might try to rip it out to prevent that soothing voice from mocking you….but this statement didn’t occur at one of those moments.

It happened at just the right moment. Just the right moment for me to be like ‘absolutely’. When you are in the throws of waiting for (fill in the blank), you almost never stop and realize you are wasting the here and now by only living in a state of anticipation.

So I am taking a step back. I am in the here and now – from now until….well hopefully until forever, but yeah, I am going to try to sustain it at least for another month and a half.

I have an amazing little monster who loves to give me a run for my money. Yesterday in a miniature booth at a breakfast place, I found myself getting hot with anxiety as I tried to contain his “energy”….but I quickly realized it was time to say “fuck it!”. I don’t need elbow room and I can get egg yolk on my shirt and who the hell cares anyway? This is my life. I am so insanely fortunate for it.

Also J.R. finally showed up for class. So here I am, starting fresh, enjoying every second I can of the last drops of 2012 and feeling extra grateful for all that I am, all that I have, and all the love in my life.

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2 thoughts on “I am Here

  1. I was walking through the misty wintery neighborhood thinking the same thing. “This is my life. I am so insanely fortunate for it.” It’s a common enough message (be present! be grateful!) but hard to pull off. Glad you’re feeling it!

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