Hey Emotions, Good Plan

You know what is a super good plan when you are resigning to pursue your dreams? Cry. Actually the best plan is to cry on and off several times over the course of a few days and also in front of your predominantly male co-workers.

Ugh.

I can seriously not turn off the waterworks today. I know better…I know that I am stupid excited,….. in addition to completely terrified…but, in conjunction with apparently incredibly sad.

Today I am getting to overhear/participate in the discussions of how to hand my work off to others. And I am finding myself super sad and a wee bit full of regret when I am realizing that I will be missing some parts of projects that I was really excited about. I don’t get to finish the Alaska project…I was able to do a really cool part of it, but I don’t get to do the rest of it. And I won’t be here to find out if these efforts result in some big project later on down the road…..although I did tell my boss I will come right back when they open the Anchorage office….to which he said “we will open it right now!”. LOL (I wish!)

So I got weepy about that. Then he pulled me in his office while we attempted to call HR to see if I needed to submit an official letter….so then of course I openly cried. Like almost full-on ugly cry…..to which he responded ‘um cut that shit out! you are going to be fine! you are going to love it and they are going to love you and it is going to be a big love fest’….which of course made me continue to cry.

Then I wrote my letter and cried….and now I am writing this post and crying….basically I am a big mess.

I do not regret my decision to take this new job. To go after “IT”…you know “the dream”. But I am also a big weepy mess….which is fun…..um not.

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3 thoughts on “Hey Emotions, Good Plan

  1. I think I would be the same way. This is my first and only big-girl job, and as much as I’m ready to walk away and never look back sometimes, the thought of not having a key to the building and a desk to walk to and sit down at every day freaks me out. Not having that sense of belonging anymore after being in a place so long is a big adjustment. Totally normally feelings, I think. I wish these next few weeks would both slow down and speed past just so you can move on.

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