I sometimes wonder the lengths I would go to eat chocolate. And thinking about it always leads into “challenge mode” where you think of a bunch of different scenarios and ask yourself if you would still go for it.
For example, on a normal day, say you find yourself in a gas station bathroom, it appears to be well-maintained, but in your head you just know that it isn’t that clean. So what if your favorite candy bar is laying on the floor. Let’s assume it just casually fell out of someone’s purse. But it’s still in the wrapper. What do you think? Would you go for it?
I mean potentially you could wash the outside of the wrapper off and be on your merry way. Okay now let’s up the ante.
Out of the wrapper? ewww hells no! Right! My thought as well, just go into the gas station and buy your own. But wait! What if all the chocolate in the world is gone. This is the last piece….now what?
Well I can tell you one thing, if it is the last piece of chocolate on earth, I might be less inclined to worry about how clean the floor might be…..I might even go so far as to think a dirty floor would be worth it. Just to be happy that one last time. Hell, maybe I would even be okay with it if it wasn’t my favorite kind of candy. I could get some sort of shot after eating it anyway. So no big deal.
Now before you freak out, don’t worry I didn’t eat anything off the floor of a bathroom. Ewww!
But I did bring in the leftover pinata candy to work yesterday. Because let’s be honest. If it is in the house, I will eat it and Andy won’t help. Jack will help, but not at the speed or proportion that must happen to prevent the majority of the leftovers from implanting themselves onto my ass. So I unselfishly brought it in, along with the top-tier of Jack’s birthday cake….say what? you had a tiered birthday cake for your seemingly low-key party?.
Listen I understand how crazy it sounds, but this is what happens when your BFF makes delicious and amazing cakes and approaches you like ‘well if you don’t have a specific idea for Jack’s cake, I will just do something fun, do you trust me?’. Then all of a sudden you have an amazing cake that makes your “simple and laid back party” look anything but…..also when you decide last-minute that you need to make bear cookies….I am a sick sick person. Acknowledged and now we’re moving on.
See not that crazy, so let’s calm down.
Anyway, leftover pinata candy – refocus.
So the first few hours after bringing the candy in, no one had really touched it. But as the day went on, the selection dwindled. Well this morning I walk into the break room to see a few tootsie rolls and some almond joys.
Two hours later – one tootsie roll pop and 3 almond joys….those bastards ate all my candy! Can you believe it? So I did what anyone might do – I popped an almond joy in my mouth. Because even though it isn’t my favorite, let’s be honest, it’s still chocolate.