I ate a lunchable today….yeah I know I am supposed to be a grown up, but I do what I want! I remember when lunchables first came out and they were just that full-size one with like turkey and ham, swiss and cheddar, white and wheat crackers, yellow mustard and an Andes mint…..pretty detailed memory right? I remember my mom buying us some to try for lunch and then me becoming an asshole about it and wanting them all the time…let’s not focus on the fact that I only liked some of the items and would basically waste the rest of it…like I said – asshole.
I recall my mom taking the plastic tray and refilling it with just Ritz crackers, cut up ham and american cheese. She probably was thinking that those were the only things I ate anyway, so why waste money on the whole lunchable. I am sure that shit was expensive for a couple of nurses with two kids.
She put it in a plastic bag and sent me to school with it. I remember being mortified! I couldn’t eat this!…people would realize it was homemade!!! GASP!….so when I was about to throw out my plastic tray today, I sighed and thought to myself ‘I hope my mom realizes that I am sorry for being such an asshole back then’. I wish I could tell her…
The good news is – now as a mom with a two-year-old, I can pretty much guarantee that she knows. Because when Jack is being a total asshole for no reason, I know that it’s just a phase. I know eventually I stopped requesting lunchables and just ate pb&honey like a normal un-spoiled kid. Maybe my mom put me in my place about it, I don’t know….all I know is eventually I stopped being such a butthead.
Having a second child was really important to me. I wanted Jack to have a sibling; it is what I know from growing up and it is what Andy knows. But I realize my fears of only-child-syndrome are now multiplied into oldest and youngest-child-syndrome. Which if you think that there are two of them…that might be worse than only-child-syndrome….like twice as worse.
But whatever, I am so very fortunate to be able to go through this once more and it will be worth whatever mayhem is to come with attitudes and assholery….kids are fucking awesome….even when they are hard and crazy….and irrational.