In Much Less Depressing/Stressful News…

It’s a boy!

I am destined to be surrounded by a bunch of penises!……3 qualifies as a bunch right?

20w us

I blame Andy and Jack for their t-shirt choices because obviously if they had not both worn blue shirts it would have been a girl….or maybe it was Jack choosing the blue sucker. Because obviously the baby sprouted its penis in the few hours between the time Andy and Jack got dressed and the ultrasound.

Don’t worry though, I am still excited. There are a lot of good things about two boys. It makes lots of things easier – mostly the fact that we have all boy supplies ready to go. Also my house will invariably be less crowded in the long run…it will be dirtier for sure….and stinkier….but hopefully less cluttered because in my mind girls come with lots of extra stuff! I mean not all of them, but mine totally would. Because I like to do crafts and also I know I would buy a shit ton of clothing and accessories. I know I had way more shit than my brother ever did and I am not even that much of a girlie girl.

The not fun aspects I am thinking about – more snakes/insects/gross things coming into my house. Masturbation….there is going to be years and years of masturbation in my house now. In all of the rooms!…..I am going to need a room to myself….with a lock on it!

There are some things I am sad to miss out on – wedding planning mostly. But I am imagining that my boys will be highly successful members of society and love me so much that they take me on exotic vacations, perhaps even buy me lavish gifts….yeah I am totally sure that is going to happen. Also they will both find a person to marry who will love me and want me to be heavily involved in wedding planning, so I feel like there are ways around that one. Plus I have plenty of little ladies in my life and you know their mom’s are my best friends so they are going to let me be heavily involved in their lives because they will feel really sorry for me for not having a little girl. “I am sorry honey “aunt” Natalie absolutely HAS to be here to pick out your wedding gown because she doesn’t have a daughter!”.

I definitely wanted a girl….but I think I will worry less about boys in the long run. I know that my boys will need me a lot for the next couple of decades, but after that I think I can feel free to become senile or something like that.

As a daughter who lost her mother, and knowing my brother at least appears to be handling it much better than me, it was kind of a relief knowing I wouldn’t have to feel guilty for the next 20 years while I wonder if I will be leaving my kids too soon as well. Not that I want to leave my boys hanging….you know what I mean right? Just that I think Andy will be able to better fill in the gaps for a boy….whereas my dad does not even come close to filling in the holes I have….I mean he has no idea how long to boil an egg and he doesn’t know any of her recipes! I bet my brother doesn’t even think about stuff like that.

Anyway, it’s a boy……I am going to have a gaggle of boys. And honestly, it makes sense that this is how it was meant to be. I make pretty awesome boys. Jack is so sweet and perfect, if it was a girl I might be a little sad anyway at the thought that there weren’t going to be more boys like him. So now I know my purpose: to make these the best darn boys in the world. You know the kind of boys that all your daughters/gay sons will be fighting over. Let me know if I should put your child’s name on the waitlist.



6 thoughts on “In Much Less Depressing/Stressful News…

  1. 1. You can totally help pick HB’s wedding dress
    2. You totally do make the best boys, jack is the sweetest!
    3. Congrats mama, I can’t wait to meet the next little man in your life!

  2. I love your post and the comments you have gotten so far really made me laugh! I love all the positiveness that comes along with your blog. Your kids are (and are going to be) awesome bc you are awesome. That’s just science!

    Congrats on another boy! And congrats on not having to go out and buy all pink stuff now!! That’s probably the best part! 😉

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